


A Place to Heal - Home for Christmas

by Annejackdanny



Series: A Place to Heal [4]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Gen, Kidfic, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28381629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annejackdanny/pseuds/Annejackdanny
Summary: A Place to Heal Christmas Story. Of new Beginnings, Christmas magic and a look at the past. Horse is learning a new thing, Jack has a secret Identity and Daniel is making new friends.
Series: A Place to Heal [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/37330
Comments: 16
Kudos: 16
Collections: Kidfic Headquarter





	1. Of New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iiiionly (Tanis)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanis/gifts).



> This has started out as part of the Virtual Advent Calendar over at our Little Daniel group and turned out into a whole story. I am grateful this happened because it allowed me to re-visit one of my favorite LDs in his world - and give him a little nudge to move on and grow. All my love goes out to Char who inspired this (not so) little fic with something she did for the list on Thanksgiving. You resurrected my muse, hon!

Home for Christmas

Of New Beginnings

December 1st

The New Thing 

  
  


Horse hoof-toed through the open door but stopped after taking just two steps over the threshold. She opened her nostrils wide to take in the smells of the shed. Familiar, but not all of them pleasant. She liked the wood scent, the earthy aroma of the loam floor, dust and hay. But there were other scents like old machine oil, metal and glue.

This was close enough to watch what the two-leg was doing without having to go all the way inside. She didn’t like enclosed spaces, never had. The stable attached to their paddock was all the way open on one side, that was good. The shed Jack, the elder of the two-legs, was working in had a double door, but there was not enough space inside for her to move quickly and get out again if she had to.

She’d never had a reason to flee from Jack or anywhere on the property, but she was a horse. She liked to be on the safe side, just in case.

However, curiosity had won over her dislike of the shed and she stretched her neck far enough to look over the two-leg’s shoulder. And to blow warm air into his neck.

“Hey,” Jack reached for her and rubbed her nose. “Checking on my progress, eh? Well, what do you think?”

She took another tentative step and nudged the thing the two-leg pointed at. It was wood. But it smelled of something acidly sharp and she pulled up her lips and bared her teeth to show him that she wasn’t fond of the smell.

“I know, I know… but once it has dried it won’t bother you anymore.” He stepped back and cocked his head to look at the thing. It was a huge thing, weirdly shaped. Several similar shaped large parts were stacked against one of the walls.

“Almost ready to put it together. But we have to do that outside. Mind if I borrow your paddock space?”

Horse lost interest in the thing and started to search Jack’s pockets for treats. He always had them. Somewhere. When she used her front teeth to pull at the back pocket of his pants he gently shoved her away. “Behave. Where’s that son of yours? Let’s go find him. And you have to earn your treats today, lady.”

She followed him outside where a new layer of snow had settled on the short-cropped grass and the beaten path that led from the house to the paddock. It had been snowing on and off for a while now. Horse and Elessar had grown a warm thick coat.

The two-leg grabbed something that hung on the inside of the shed door and she shook her head at the tinkling sound when he moved to stand beside her.

“C’mon, Beautiful, it’s a surprise. For Daniel. You’re doing great with this, he’ll be floored,” the two-leg crooned in the softest voice.

For Daniel. She pawed the ground and shook her head again, but when he came close and rubbed the leather against her neck and whispered something into her ear, she lowered her head and allowed him to pull the leather over her neck and to fasten straps around her chest.

The tinkling occurred whenever she took a step, but it was oddly beautiful and gentle to her ears. The leather felt smooth and cool on her skin as it was put into place. All the while she felt Jack’s warm hands on her, rubbing, stroking, patting.

She stood, head bowed, and waited for him to be done. She couldn’t help but lift one hoof and then the other, she danced on the spot just a little bit.

“Shhh… easy, it’s okay. Just think about how much Daniel is going to love this.”

Her ears twitched at the young one’s name.

She missed the young one. And she knew the elder two-leg missed him too, maybe more. She had her own young to look after. Daniel was the elder’s young one, but in a way he was hers, too.

She sniggered, deep in her throat.

“Yeah,” Jack said, “Me too.”

Then he steered her onto the path towards the paddock. Elessar came running toward them, his small frame busting with youth and energy, his short tail flying behind him. He bucked and ran and sniggered a high-pitched greeting which she answered in a more composed way.

“All right, let’s go,” Jack commanded and together they moved down the path and past the paddock into the woods. She felt the reins on her neck and rump, as he walked behind her, but she had learned that he wouldn’t hurt her, never jerk at her mouth or slap her with the leather. He never put the bitter iron bar in her mouth. He just held her steady and let her know where he wanted to go by touching her with the reins and giving her orders. Most of them she had learned by now.

_Go. Left. Right. Giddy-up. Ho._

_Good girl_ meant she was doing good. _For crying out loud_ probably meant she was doing something wrong. She wasn’t sure about _Who’s damn stupid idea was this anyway?_ But she could understand the meaning of _Nonono, not THAT way_ , when they had ended up in a deep snow drift or her reins had ended up tangled in a bush. But that hadn’t happened lately.

Today was one of the ‘Good girl’ days. She was confident and let him guide her.

Maybe it would convince Daniel to come home. And maybe this time he would stay and not leave again as he had done so many times whenever he had come back after he had left this fall. She did not understand why he kept leaving. Jack had told her about ‘school’ and that Daniel needed to study.

Whatever that meant. Elessar would learn all he needed to know at her side.

She shook out her white mane and let the bells chime in the still winter forest. The elder two-leg whistled. Beside her Elessar fell into step, not afraid of the chime or the whistling.

The sun stood high in a clear cold sky and the woods were wrapped in winter slumber as they reached the clearing where the young ones, two- and four-legs alike, loved to pick wildflowers or chase butterflies in the summer.

Now the grass was glazed with white frost, icicles hung from the bushes and Horse’s breath froze in the air like a tiny foggy cloud.

It was a beautiful winter’s day.

  
  


December 5th

  
The Hot Chocolate Incident

Daniel sat on the window seat in his dorm room and watched the snow fall like a dense curtain. It was dark outside, only the lantern at the main entrance of the opposite building shed some light on the deserted courtyard between the two houses. In its light the snowflakes twirled and danced like tiny elves around a bonfire. It was only a quarter past four, but Daniel was pretty sure that no one would be going outside in this kind of weather.

Behind him, at the wood paneled backwall, the fire crackled in the fireplace. Not for real, though. It was a fake one, with light and sound to make the room appear more cozy. Central heating provided the warmth and even the candles on the mantel and the table weren’t real. They all ran on batteries. Just like the fir garlands framing the windows were artificial and the poinsettias in little pots on the windowsills were made from red paper.

Still, it was nice. Daniel loved Christmas. He had only done Christmas twice in this incarnation and he only vaguely remembered the holidays as something bittersweet from when he had still been that other guy. But being in the here and now he loved all the festive traditions Jack had taught him. He loved the scents and the taste and the warm feeling of the holidays.

Daniel stretched like his cat would do and yawned. He had been reading until a couple of minutes ago. Now he just sat watching the snow fall. He had finished his daily lessons early today and had done some studying ahead – which was frowned upon by his teachers, but he couldn’t help himself sometimes. Time went by more quickly when he studied. And he was counting the days now until the holidays.

Until he could go home.

Not just for a weekend every fortnight, but for eleven whole days. He would hike the winter woods and visit all his favorite spots, help Jack with the daily chores, sit and read by a real fire and play in the snow with Horse and Elessar. Sleep in his own bed. Drink hot chocolate with whipped cream and an extra shot of Jack’s strong coffee. They would put up the tree and decorate it and there would be a stocking full of everything he liked.

Next weekend though, they would go out to choose and tag their tree. That in itself would be wonderful.

The dorm room door was ripped open and a gust of cold air came in from the hallway. The school for Gifted Children had found its home in an old manor with thick stone walls and while all the classrooms, the dining hall and dorm rooms had central heating, the hallways and entry hall were always cold.

“Daniel! Come on, Minnie is doing a cookie hand out downstairs!” Linus Woodman, a small boy with porcelain skin, brown curly hair and a snub nose burst in.

Daniel grabbed his book and held it up for Linus to see. “I’m, uh, reading.”

Books, he had learned, were a perfect hiding place. People were less inclined to try and talk to him when he was reading. Because they didn’t want to disturb him or because he almost became invisible behind a book. Sometimes, when he felt too crowded, when it seemed too loud, when all the other kids and teachers and just everything became too overwhelming for him, he hid behind a book. _In_ a book, if it was a good one. It was as if he could completely vanish into the book and be part of the story or the subject and nothing from outside could reach him – until he decided to come out again.

His love for books was something he had carried over from whom he used to be before… sometimes he wondered if that was the only thing he and this other Daniel, the one replicator Sam had killed, had in common. Well, aside from history class being his favorite, maybe. Everything else… Daniel wasn’t sure about. Jack used to tell him tidbits of that other Daniel… Jack’s friend… who had been brave and known no fear.

Daniel was nothing like that.

“You’re always reading something,” Linus drawled, rolling his eyes.

“And you’re always scribbling something,” Daniel countered, eyes firmly glued to the pages of “A Christmas Carol”.

It was a game of sorts, always pretending to be annoyed about the other one’s habits. Linus’ drawings and Daniel’s books. But it was a comfortable banter, nothing like what some of the other kids did.

“But not now, I’m not.” Linus climbed up to the window seat and sat down beside him. Linus fit into the narrowest of spaces. “Daniel, please,” he asked in a more timid manner as he reached out and put a small hand on Daniel’s book. His fingertips were covered in ink or charcoal or crayon dust. Linus always had some kind of paint on him. When he moved his hand he left tiny dark spots on Daniel’s book. Daniel thought about nagging at him, but Linus said, “The bigger kids won’t leave any cookies for me if I go alone. And Minnie’s cookies are the best.”

“It will be crowded downstairs,” Daniel mumbled. Everyone wanted Minnie’s cookies. Or anything else Minnie cooked. She was the school’s cook and nurse. All the boys and girls thought Minnie was a magical cook and a terrible nurse. As a nurse she always dished out bitter teas and awful smelling gels or ointments. Like an herbal witch.

Linus sighed. “Last time you said you’d get cookies for me next time. Next time is now.”

Daniel cringed. He had promised. He put the book down and stood. “Okay.”

Linus beamed at him. “Thank you.”

The hallway was empty and so were the stairs, but the boys could already hear the noise coming from the main room where the kids usually did their after-class studies. It was also the library. High shelves filled with books lined the walls and a row of computers sat on a long work counter, available for internet research or writing papers.

It was Daniel’s favorite room. Because all the knowledge was in here, like a window to the world out there.

He took a deep breath and beside him Linus straightened his back to appear a little bit taller. Not that he did. He barely reached Daniel’s elbow. Everything about his appearance was minuscule.

They entered through the wide double doors and Daniel had to stop and focus on something to keep his head from spinning. It was crowded, like he had predicted. And loud. Voices chattering all around him, laughter, giggles, more chatter. And overall Jingle Bells floated from the speakers. In the middle of it, Minnie, in her white apron and blue dress, handed out bags of cookies and gingerbread men and Mrs. Donovan, the housemother, filled mugs with hot chocolate or tea. Students stood in lines to get their hot drink or were gathered around the tables.

Daniel set his eyes on Minnie. Minnie and her curly mop of red hair, her twinkling blue eyes, the small gold framed glasses and her warm smile as she patiently gave away cookies.

“Hey, there’s our little tot,” someone called and there was laughter, if not much.

“Did you bring a stool so you can reach the cookies, Tiny Tim?”

Daniel put a hand on Linus’ rigid shoulder. “Don’t listen.”

“It’s hard not to,” Linus whispered through gritted teeth.

“I know.” Daniel felt the mocking looks behind him, heard the suppressed giggles. Not all of them were mean, it was always the same bunch, but it was bad enough.

“Daniel can lift him up,” someone else snickered.

“Leave Daniel alone, he’s just being nice,” a girl hissed. It was Lisa Yeoman. She was in some of Daniel’s classes. History and English literature.

Daniel kept his eyes on Minnie’s smiling face as he pushed Linus forward until they were standing by the table. “Hi, Daniel, Linus… here are your cookies. Don’t eat all of them before dinner.” She handed them their bags, then whispered, “I put some extra cookies for you in there, Linus, because you didn’t get any last week.”

“Thanks,” the boys murmured. Linus tucked his bag away in the inside pocket of his school jacket and gave Minnie a forced smile before they turned and walked slowly back towards the door.

“Tiny Tim got his cookies.”

“D’you think he’ll be full after just one? They are big.”

“He could probably use a cookie like a bobsled and go down a hill.”

They had almost reached the door when someone called Daniel’s name. He raised his head and tried to unclench his jaw when he looked at Ben Clover.

Ben, who was in his chess class. Ben, who always won every game and sometimes bragged about it to impress the girls. Ben, who had his own fan club. Until recently Ben had neither been nice nor nasty to Daniel. Some of his ‘shadows’ from his fanclub, however, were among those who bullied Linus so Daniel had stayed away from all of them. Then, all of a sudden, last week Ben had suddenly offered to teach him some cool chess moves he hadn’t known before.

“What?” Daniel asked. He wanted to go upstairs and read his book. Or watch the snow fall. And he knew he had to console Linus. But Jack had said, this fall when they had talked about how difficult it was to make friends, that it couldn’t hurt to be a bit open, to give others a chance to get to know you. And that ‘you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover until you’ve read it’.

Which was a bit odd, coming from Jack. Daniel remembered, sort off, that Jack had sometimes been the one who tended to shoot first and ask questions later.

But Daniel had understood the truth in the saying and tried to be a little more open when Ben had offered to teach him those moves. Ben himself had never outright mocked Linus. Until recently he had mostly just ignored both boys. So maybe he was reaching out and maybe he was okay after all. Daniel wasn’t sure, he wasn’t good at reading people. Not anymore. He thought he used to be good at it, maybe, before all the bad stuff had happened.

Before replicator Sam had taunted him and tricked him and then killed him.

He blinked. He didn’t like those memories crawling up on him. He shook them off and continued to stare at Ben Clover. Here and now. He wasn’t in that past. He was here and now. Anchored.

And just like that the door to that dark place in him shut and he was back in the real world. He was always relieved and a little in awe when he realized how he had control. How he could shut that door. How the darkness had no power over him anymore.

Not much, anyway.

“Hey, Daniel!” Ben’s snapped his fingers in front of his nose and he took a tiny step back.

“What do you want?” he asked again.

“Want to come outside after dinner? We want to go over to the firepit and roast some marshmallows.” Ben grinned and the two other boys who were with him high-fived each other.

Outside. Daniel liked to be outside. And he liked bonfires and marshmallows. He relaxed somewhat and almost smiled. “Can I bring Linus?”

Ben and the other boys exchanged a look. “Look, why don’t you just leave him. There’s no need to hang out with the tot,” one of Ben’s friends said.

“Linus is my friend.” Daniel looked back over his shoulder. Linus was standing by the door, a small skinny boy, his big dark eyes fixed on Daniel and Ben.

“Nah, he’s not,” Ben said.

“Yeah, he is.” Daniel felt his jaw clench again. The real world was a lot less frightening than replicator Sam, but sometimes it wasn’t a good place either.

“He’s embarrassing,” Ben said. “It’s like having a five-year-old trailing after you all the time.”

“Linus is ten,” Daniel snapped.

“He’s a peanut,” one of the fan club guys laughed. Suddenly Daniel thought of Crabbe and Goyle from Harry Potter. These kids didn’t look like them, but still… they were just as nasty.

“Why would _he_ be your friend?” Ben said.

“Because.” Because Linus was kind and funny and not a jerk.

Ben shrugged. “Get rid of him and you can be with us.” When Daniel didn’t reply he continued. “We need someone to polish up our history homework. You’d be part of the club then.”

Daniel stepped up close to Ben. Now at least he knew what kind of guy Ben Clover was. “You’re disgusting.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “You’re boring. But that’s okay, you can still hang out with us, just get rid of the dwarf.”

Daniel looked at Ben’s full mug of hot chocolate with halfway melted marshmallows on the table. Slowly he picked it up and poured it out over Ben’s thick black hair, his neat gray school uniform jacket and white shirt. Two of the marshmallows were briefly enthroned on top of Ben’s head before they started sliding down his brow, along his nose until they finally dropped on his collar.

Daniel felt the following silence echo loudly in his ears as his face flushed with heat of anger and embarrassment. But underneath all that he felt a grim satisfaction.

Then Linus started laughing and some of the kids applauded and cheered.

Ben turned on his heel and ran, screaming curses and insults at Daniel as he left the hall, followed by his friends and some others.

Daniel took a deep breath. He didn’t object when one of the teachers on duty grabbed him by the elbow to escort him to the principal’s office.

  
  


December 10th

A Phone Call  
  


Jack lowered his cordless screwdriver and looked at his handiwork. “Oh, yes,” he muttered as he brushed his palm over the smooth edges and elegant curves. “A work of beauty.”

Horse, who was examining Jack’s masterpiece, swung her large head around to look at him somewhat indignantly.

“Yeah, I know, you’re the most beautiful around here, but you have to admit I did good.”

She started rubbing her neck against the wooden frame.

“At least it makes for a good scratching post, I guess,” Jack muttered and glanced at Elessar who was nosing this ‘work of beauty’ in different places. It had been a good idea to put it together out in the paddock. Enough space and the animals could get used to its presence.

Horse stopped scratching her neck and bared her teeth, a sure sign she still had issues with the paint fumes. She turned her butt on them and walked away.

Elessar stuck his nose under the structure and sniffed the ground before he, too, decided the thing taking up so much space in their paddock was boring.

“You have no style!” Jack shouted after the retreating horses and continued to check his bolts and make sure everything was in place as it should.

Nice.

He couldn’t wait until Daniel saw this. “At least someone will appreciate my efforts,” he grumbled in the general direction of the horses who had stopped at the hay rack and were now munching happily.

Two snow hares squatted underneath the rack, nibbling on carrots and the corn cob Jack had put out for them this morning. He always had guests to feed around here. Fat balls and food rings covered with oat flakes and sunflower seats hung from the branches of the trees around the hay rack and over by the deck at the cabin, attracting all kind of birds who stuck around to tackle Minnesotan winter. The squirrels showed up from time to time for some nuts and to tease the cat who would chase after them, but never catch them because those critters were too fast. Last week Jack had seen the raccoon sneaking up to the deck and stealing some of Cat’s food.

Kind of felt like living in a Disney movie sometimes. Sans the singing.

Jack walked around the frame to see if he had put all the hooks there for the bells and the lights.

They had talked about this back in the fall, him and Daniel. About trying to train Horse to do this. They had wondered if she might even like it, too. Jack hoped Daniel wouldn’t be sad. There was a slight chance the kid might feel left out because he hadn’t helped with the building of this. Or training Horse. But damn, Jack had a lot of time on his hands with Daniel gone to that school.

So, he had sat down with Horse and talked it through with her… the way they did that around here… and showed her what he had in mind and she had cooperated just like that. She had been a bit tentative at first, a bit nervous maybe, but now she carried her harness with pride. Or at least that’s what Jack assumed.

Maybe she was bored and needed a bit of extra entertainment, too.

The little one sure could use some new challenges to keep him busy. He was always up to some trouble. Last week he had ventured out on the frozen pond and then he had stood there, trying to sort out how to keep his four legs under him. Jack had played chase with the bratling for quite a while until he had been able to put a rope on him and carefully walk him back to secure ground. Horse had watched from the sidelines, apparently not too worried. She had probably laughed her tail off at the sight of Jack and the youngster doing an awkward slippery dance on the ice.

When Elessar wasn’t exploring the new-to-him winter wonderland, he was finding ways to get into the house. Unlike Horse who disliked being inside, her kid didn’t have those kind of hangups. He would trudge up onto the deck, open the door – yep, he was a smart one, but Jack suspected that Daniel might have had a hand in showing him how because he loved teaching Elessar new tricks - and straight into the house to stick his little nose into pots and kettles and eat a loaf of bread straight from the counter or leave a load of his crap on the rug by the fireplace.

He tried to eat the herbs Jack had hung up to dry above the kitchen counter. Or kicked over a bucket with mopping water. Or munched on a couch pillow.

Kids.

Jack scrubbed a hand through his three, five, six… seven… ten… maybe fifteen day beard as he watched Elessar sticking his nose into the snow, snorting loudly and jumping backwards, startled by the cold wetness. It was a game the foal loved to play. Apparently the snow experience was still exciting.

The horse baby sure kept him entertained, but he missed his other kid. Jack still had issues with this boarding school thing. Maybe it had been too much too soon.

They had tried to get Daniel into the local highschool this fall, but Hermanstown hadn’t accepted him.

Those pencil pushers had looked over Daniel’s online- and home-schooling grades. Daniel being Daniel, he was way ahead of the grade he would have been placed in. Hermanstown High had politely declined his application, saying it wasn’t possible to give Daniel the educational challenge he needed.

They hadn’t even invited him to try in a higher grade. They had just flatly refused to give him a chance.

Lam had come up with that School for Gifted Kids and she had sent the link to their website directly to Daniel’s e-mail address without cluing in Jack first - and then insisted it had been an accident.

Jack had given her a very loud and colorful piece of his mind before he had _accidentally_ hung up on her.

Daniel, of course, had flatly refused to go to a boarding school. Only to keep staring at their website and re-reading their educational program over and over again.

Jack had done his best to assure Daniel that going to that school wasn’t an obligation but a choice, and Daniel had agonized over whether he wanted to go or not for weeks.

The struggle had been real and Jack had known there was a growing part of Daniel that _wanted_ to go.

So in the end Jack had made the call and had taken Daniel up there to have a look around. They had talked to the principal and handed in all the required paperwork.

That new school hadn’t even taken the time to consider. Daniel had been invited to join their program whenever he wanted.

And here they were now.

It had taken his boy two years from the time he’d been a scared non-verbal child to be ready to leave his bubble of safety and take his first steps into the outside world.

On a balmy late October morning Jack and Daniel had said their goodbyes in the school’s courtyard.

Jack remembered how bright the kid’s eyes had been. He had seen unshed tears and fear in them, but also the iron will to go forward and the curiosity to explore whatever this new stage in life was going to offer him.

Jack had been proud. And worried. And still mad at Lam. But mostly he had been proud…

“ _I’ll be home next weekend,” Daniel said._

“ _I’ll pick you up on Friday.”_

“ _Jack.” Daniel blinked a couple of times._

“ _Hey, bud, it’s just a week. And we can talk on the phone.”_

“ _Five days.” Daniel said._

“ _Five days.” Jack raised his hands, offering a hug, and Daniel shook his head no and took a step back, biting his bottom lip hard._

“ _I better…” He pointed at the main entrance. There weren’t any kids out there. The school year had already started and everyone was in class. But the housemother, a soft rounded woman with kind eyes and the most pristine white apron Jack had ever seen, waited for him at the door to take him to his room._

“ _Yeah.”_

_Daniel picked up his bags and walked to the house. Then he stopped, dropped those bags, and ran back to where Jack was standing._

“ _Don’t forget to give Horse and Elessar an extra treat from me every day and remember to check Horse’s hooves for stones and don’t let Elessar stomp down our vegetable beds and and and…”_

 _Jack grabbed him, pulled him in and wrapped his arms around the skinny boy, holding him tight until they were both ready to let go.._.

He had vowed to never speak another word to Lam again.

Jack’s phone beeped and when he pulled it out the pocket of his warm flannel jacket he grimaced.

Speak of the devil…

He considered ignoring her call like he had done for the last three months, but Daniel had already scolded him for being a stubborn SOB and made him promise to get back in touch with the good doctor.

“Uncle Jack,” she said rather cheerfully as soon as he accepted the call.

“Whoa, getting out the big guns?” She hadn’t called him ‘uncle Jack’ since she’d been, what… 10? 11?

He was, after all her godfather, but when Hank and Kim had separated, Jack hadn’t seen her again. He had followed her career though, which had been the reason he tracked her down and hired her as the SGC’s CMO before he had retired.

Yet, they hadn’t been in touch until that fateful day she called him in to meet Daniel 2.0. They had started out quite formal and only returned to first name basis last summer.

“At least you didn’t hang up on me right away,” she sounded smug.

“Thinking about it.”

“Don’t. I come in peace.”

“What? There’s a glitch with the connection, I didn’t get that.”

There was a pause and then a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“What happened to; it was an accident?”

“Well, you said you’d believe it was an accident when hell freezes over…”

“That’s what I said.”

He could almost hear her grinding her teeth. Hank Landry was a stubborn man and his daughter sure had inherited that trait. She huffed and opted for defensiveness. “Look, Daniel is sending me e-mails, telling me how much he’s enjoying the schoolwork. I knew he was ready. He just needed a little push in the right direction.”

“You didn’t have the right to do the pushing. Or to go behind my back.”

“You kept saying he wasn’t ready. You didn’t even want him to go to school in your next town.”

“I said it was his choice. And that he could take all the time he needs.”

“You were holding him back. He was so totally fixated on you and those horses; it was like he lived in an ivory tower. Self-protection is good, but he had to get out there again. The two of you were turning into hermits out there.”

“Becoming a hermit has always been my retirement goal.”

“And what about Daniel? He hasn’t quite reached the retirement age yet,” she snapped.

“Bye, Carolyn.” His thumb hovered over the red button on the screen of his phone.

“Jack, wait!”

He took his time, but raised the phone back to his ear. “ _What_?”

“I know you want to protect him,” she said softly. “What happened… back then… affected both of you. Everyone copes differently with the trauma going through the gate can cause. I know you want only the best for Daniel.”

He gazed up at the cold winter sky. “He was at peace here. I just wanted him to enjoy that for a while longer.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.” But he had lost the urge to lash out at her. He took a deep breath, welcoming the crisp air in his lungs. Nothing cleared your head like a good Minnesota chill.

“Because I never knew him before… he came back?”

“Yeah.” Daniel had never been at peace. Or happy. He had been passionate and caring, brilliant and curious, smart and sarcastic. But never happy. Or at peace. Out here, in his new incarnation and once he had started to heal, Jack had gotten to know a new Daniel. A Daniel who was in sync with himself and this small world he lived in. A Daniel who wasn’t driven by the constant need to make a difference for others, to save the world, to find his goal in unearthing the secrets of the universe.

Even when the past came back to haunt him occasionally, Daniel had learned to shield himself, to keep his inner peace. And even if he slipped occasionally, Jack was right here to catch the fall.

And in turn it had brought Jack peace, too.

Daniel… this Daniel… was vulnerable and his wounds had just started to heal, his emotional balance had just been put back in place. Here, he was mostly allowed to walk to his own drum. Out there he was confronted with so much input, so many people… Yes, it was just a school. But for Daniel it was a huge step to spread his wings. Jack hoped he didn’t burn those wings even before he really had learned to fly again.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back.” This time she meant it.

“In the end it was his choice and I let him go.” Time would tell if it had been the right choice, but that was out of Jack’s hands.

And if he was honest with himself, he knew blaming Lam wouldn’t change anything. She’d screwed up there, but she had been in this with them from the get-go and while Jack was Daniel’s advocate, Lam was their strongest back up. She had made it possible for Jack to adopt the kid, had fought like a lion for Daniel’s right to be treated like a human being and not like a science subject because he had come back through the gate, after two years of being AWOL, with a severe case of age regression and PTSD.

“Still, I crossed a line. It won’t happen again.” After a pause she asked, “I’d like to see him. Both of you. It’s been a while. I’m sure Colonel Carter and Teal’c would be happy to see you both, too.”

Jack decided it was time to let her off the hook. “Let’s aim for a weekend in January or February. I’ll bring the Fireball.”

She snorted. “You better leave that awful stuff at your little house on the prairie.”

“Hey! It’s our national treasure.”

“I have to go,” she sounded alarmed all of a sudden. “SG3 is coming in hot.” Just before she hung up Jack could hear the claxons blaring in the background. He felt his breath quicken just for a moment, then his pulse settled back to normal.

He lowered his phone and gazed at the peaceful scenery before him. The paddock, the horses, the cabin, the pond.

Nope, he didn’t have a single regret about being retired this time around.

  
  


December 15th

New Friends  
  


Daniel lowered his binoculars and crept forward on his hands and knees, head down. He wanted to get just a little bit closer. The snow crunched under his weight and he froze. When he raised his eyes to the clearing, the deer looked directly at him.

Daniel held his breath.

 _Please, don’t be afraid_ , he thought, his heartbeat quickening.

He had been on a walk to take a couple of pictures for his art project – a winter themed photo collage – when he had seen the deer tracks and followed them here.

The majestic animal lowered his head to search for something edible underneath the snow. Daniel admired his antlers and his proud statue. Winter hadn’t taken a toll on him, yet, he still looked well nourished.

Daniel reached for his phone. Maybe he was close enough to snap a good picture.

The deer paused and looked up. His deep dark eyes seemed to meet Daniel’s for a second, before the animal returned to its task.

There were no hay racks on the school grounds, at least none Daniel was aware off. At home they had one for the horses, but deer and doe knew about it, too. They mostly came out of the woods late evening or early in the morning. Horse and Elessar didn’t mind the company.

Daniel felt a slight knot in his stomach. Another nine long days until he could go home.

Had Jack already chopped down a tree? Had he put the lights up around the cabin yet? Daniel knew if he closed his eyes he would almost be able to see the living room with its old couch and Jack’s favorite recliner, the white and blue patchwork quilt and the bookshelf by the window. He pictured how cat would sleep in front of the fireplace, her pink little nose buried between her plushy paws.

Daniel shook his head. Being homesick sucked. And nine days wasn’t really that long.

He snapped the picture.

The deer took several steps in Daniel’s direction, then stopped to sniff the air before he turned smartly on his hind legs. In a blink of an eye he was gone, vanished between the dense trees.

“And I thought I was really quiet,” a voice from behind startled Daniel. He spun around to find himself eye to eye with Lisa Yeoman. She was one of the few kids who sometimes said ‘Hi’ to him when they met in class or crossed paths in the hallways.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare him off,” she offered with an apologetic smile. “He was beautiful.”

“It was a white tail deer,” Daniel said quietly and slipped his phone into his jacket before he got to his feet. “We have lots of them where I live.”

“You’re the horse kid,” Lisa said.

Daniel frowned. “Horse kid?”

“Yeah. Rumor has it you live in the woods and your dad is one of those survivalists. You know, no electricity, no running water. You only eat what you find in the woods or whatever your dad brings home from the hunt. They say you talk to the animals and live in a cave.”

Daniel stared at her, trying to figure out if she was teasing him.

She shrugged and grinned. “Okay, so, not a cave then?”

“I live in a cabin. And we have electricity.” He lowered his head so that his bangs covered his eyes. Before he had started school Jack had taken him to the hairdresser in Hermanstown because of some weird hair rules. But while Daniel’s hair was short in the back now, his bangs were still long-ish.

“Is it true though? The horses? Linus told me about them.”

“Yes.”

“Wow. I’d love to see them. Horses are like beings from other worlds, they are so graceful and majestic.”

There was so much admiration in her voice that Daniel found the courage to say, “I… I can show you pictures.” He had some on his phone. And some prints in his nightstand. Through his bangs, when he raised his head again, he saw her smile and nod.

“I’d love that.”

“Okay.”

Daniel brushed the snow from his pants and together they walked back to school. They didn’t talk, but it was a good silence. A comfortable one.

Once they had entered the courtyard between the two main buildings, they met other kids going about their business, but no one bothered them.

It was only when they had almost reached the Manor with the dorm rooms, that Lisa pointed at something ahead of them. On the ground. “What’s that?”

They stepped closer.

Daniel stared at the red, navy blue and bottle green spots on the snow. Those drops of colors almost looked artistic the way they were scattered on the ground with footprints all over them. Part of his mind tried to figure out if they resembled a pattern. A circle maybe. But they were just piles of clothes, balled up and stomped into the snow.

He looked up to the second floor where the window of his dorm room was open. One of his boxer briefs still hung on the window’s handle like a red and white checkered flag wafting gently in the wind.

The rest of his underwear was taking a bath in the snow. It had been properly ‘washed’ in it and the mud underneath.

“Clover.” Daniel balled his hands into fists.

“It’s his revenge for what you did,” Lisa poked at one of his boxer shorts with the tip of her boot. “You pouring out hot chocolate over him was a lot more entertaining though. This is so lame.”

Daniel snorted. “Thanks. I think.”

“They’re a bunch of idiots,” Lisa stated. Then she turned to him and smiled. Daniel noticed how her brown eyes seemed to have golden spots in the winter sunlight. And she had real long eyelashes. “I’m glad Linus has a friend now.“

“I’m not his friend because I want to be nice.” He had heard her say that on the day he had showered Clover with hot chocolate. “I like him.”

“I know,” Lisa said quietly. “I like him, too.”

Daniel picked up a pair of blue boxer briefs with two fingers. “Good.”

“Want me to…” Lisa gestured at the mess and Daniel blushed.

“No, no, thanks, but…” The last thing he needed was a girl helping him pick up his underwear.

“Okay.” She fumbled something out of the small purse she was carrying and handed it to him. “Here. I traded them with Jim for some candy, in case I had extra laundry to do, but I don’t need them.”

She had given him two laundry coins. Every student received four copper coins every month to put into the laundromat and the dryer. If they needed more they had to pay for them from their allowance money.

It was the school’s policy that kids took care of their own laundry except bed sheets, blankets and towels. Those were covered. They also had to clean up after themselves and the older kids had chores assigned to them like working in the school yard and doing KP duty.

Daniel liked working in the school yard, even raking leaves or shoveling snow. Anything outside was good with him. Jack said he used to be the opposite _before,_ because he had always been occupied with books or artifacts when he hadn’t been off world. Now, Jack said, he was like Horse. She liked being outside, too.

Daniel still loved his books though. He could spend hours reading every day sitting out in the paddock with Horse all summer long.

Again he felt the sting of homesickness. He hadn’t been allowed to go home on the weekends this month because of what he had done to Ben. He missed Jack, too. And he had a queasy feeling because of their last phone call.

Mr Anderson, the principal had asked him, not in an unkind way, if he wanted to tell him something. The reason why he had attacked Ben, for example. And Daniel had shaken his head. He wasn’t a tattletale and Ben had gotten what he deserved. Mr. Anderson had nodded and said he had no choice but to give Daniel a consequence for wasting perfectly good hot chocolate the way he had. He had said that with a wink, but the outcome had still been painful.

Mr. Anderson had left it to Daniel to explain things to Jack. And that’s where he had made a bad choice.

But that couldn’t be changed now. He just had to fess up when he was finally allowed to go home for the holidays.

Nine days. Not long.

Daniel gave Lisa a smile of thanks and she took off. Before she entered the house she turned and waved at him. “I’ll see you at lunch, Daniel.”

Daniel put the coins away and collected his underwear.

Once he had put all of it into the washer and started the cycle he went up to his dorm room to find Linus and get ready for lunch.

Linus sat at the desk they shared and stared at something in front of him. When Daniel entered. he didn’t even turn around. It was freezing cold in the room.

“Why didn’t you close the window?” Daniel went over, grabbed his boxershorts flag, pulled it off the handle and slammed the window shut.

Linus didn’t reply. Or move.

Daniel threw the piece of clothing on his bed. “What’s going on?” He stepped behind Linus to look over his shoulder and let out an angry shout, using the ever forbidden F-word.

Linus looked up and smirked despite the wetness in his eyes. “Swear jar.”

“Swear jar my ass,” Daniel snapped. “Why did they do that?” He didn’t need to ask ‘who’ did it, that was kind of obvious.

“They came up here to throw out your underwear and I tried to stop ‘em,” Linus said with a shrug and wiped a hand across his face. “It’s okay, it was rubbish anyway.” Linus’ hand left green and brown traces of paint on his cheeks.

“NO. No, it wasn’t. Nothing you draw or paint is rubbish.” Daniel picked up the torn pieces of paper. It was the heavy, good quality paper Linus used for his school art, not the normal paper he sketched on in his free time. “Was it schoolwo…” Daniel trailed off when he saw what Linus had been working on.

Linus snatched the torn artwork out of his hands. “No, it wasn’t!”

Daniel swallowed a small lump forming in his throat. “That’s Horse. And Elessar. And the cabin. The pond.” He went through several more of them, some only sketches, some halfway done. All of them ripped apart.

“I wanted to give it to you. For Christmas. I was still trying to figure out how to do it. Charcoal or crayons or acrylic.” Linus shrugged. “There’s still time, I’ll fix it. I’m not going home for the holidays so it’ll be done by the time you’re back.”

“They’re great,” Daniel whispered.

“I used the prints you have in your nightstand. Sorry I borrowed them, but it was supposed to be a surprise.” Linus grabbed all the shredded papers and stuffed them into the bin by the desk.

For a moment they stood silently, then Daniel asked, “Why aren’t you going home for the holidays?”

Linus started sorting his acrylic paint tubes by color. “My parents are going to Europe to an art exhibition. They called this morning.” He shrugged. “It’s nice here over Christmas. All the kids who have to stay get extra cookies and there’s a turkey lunch and small gifts under the tree in the dining hall. Last year I got a new pencil case. And my parents sent my gifts in later, in January.”

“You didn’t go home last year either?” Daniel’s heart hurt at the mere thought of not being able to go home for the holidays.

“It’s no big deal,” Linus said quietly. He started putting his brushes in order next. From small to big.

Daniel picked up empty sheets of drawing paper that had fallen to the floor and placed them on the pile of sketch blocks and art folders. He didn’t know what to say, but he sensed it was better to just drop it for now.

Downstairs they rang the bell for lunch. From everywhere in the house the sounds of running feet and loud chatter was to be heard.

“Thanks for trying to defend my underwear,” Daniel said finally.

Linus giggled and sniffled at the same time. “Your underwear didn’t even try to fight back. You have moron underwear.”

“I’ll have words with them once I get them out of the washer.”

Together they went to lunch. When they entered the dining hall, Lisa Yeoman waved at them from across the room and invited them to sit at her table. Another boy, Daniel couldn’t remember his name, was already there shoveling potato salad into his mouth. He raised a hand in greeting.

“That’s Jim. One of his hobbies is to eat.”

Jim swallowed and grinned. “And to cook.”

“You cook?” Linus slid onto the bench beside him. “Oh, wait, you’re the only boy in the cooking class. I heard about you. They call you Chef Jimbo.”

“Yeah, that’d be me. And you’re Tiny Tim.”

Linus sighed and Daniel’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t call him that.”

Jim shrugged. “You gotta roll with it. They’ll stop all the in your face bullying when you stop being a fun target.” He held out his hand across his table. “Hi, I’m Chef Jimbo, the pansy who’s hanging out with the cooking club gals.”

Linus and Lisa giggled.

Daniel stared at the other boy and instantly decided he liked him. “Hi, I’m Daniel.”

“He’s the horse kid who lives in a cave and I’m Tiny Tim, his shadow,” Linus added.

“I’m Lisa and I’m perfectly normal and beautiful.”

They all shook hands over the table and when the other three kids burst out laughing, Daniel thought that maybe he had finally arrived here.


	2. The Journey Home

Home for Christmas

The Journey Home

December 20th

Fun in the Snow

Horse stood still, only her ears twitched in anticipation. There was some rustling in the tree’s limbs, before a load of snow rushed down to the ground with a low thud not far from where she stood, followed by the annoyed cackle of a bird.

Jack, who was attaching the harness to her paused and put a palm on the side of her neck. “Easy.”

She snorted. She was not startled that easily.

He tousled her mane. “You’re doing great there. We’re going to knock Danny boy’s sock’s off.” He stepped back, crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head. “Something’s going on. And we’ll coax it outta him eventually. But first we’ll give him his best Christmas ever.”

She wasn’t sure what he was talking about. All she knew was that his young one hadn’t been home in a long time. She could not count the days like the two-legs did, but even in her very basic sense of time it seemed Daniel had been gone longer than before. And the elder two-leg had been putting off uneasy vibes on and off.

The leather with the bells felt heavier now, and more pieces had been added to it over time. The two-leg had patiently shown her every new piece, let her sniff and mouth them, rubbed them gently against her coat before he had applied them to the breast collar, straps and reins.

The bells tinkled softly as he walked around her, tugging here and there, straightening out some of the straps and traces.

“We’ve done this every day for a while now, remember?” He brushed a hand over her back. “It’s all good, Beauty, nothing to be nervous about.”

She snuffed and nodded her head up and down. Jingle, jingle, sounded the bells.

Elessar was close, hopping from one snow drift into the other. Then, as the two-leg called him, he stopped his game and ambled over to rub his small nose against hers and she mouthed his white forelock.

Jack had put a halter on him earlier. The young one, Daniel, had made it from soft rope and Elessar wore it like a shining armor. That’s what Jack had said when he had first tried it out. Horse wasn’t sure what a shining armor was, but it had to be something good because Daniel had smiled.

Elessar nosed the bells on her harness and didn’t flinch when they emitted their bright clear sound.

“You want some of those?” Jack showed him bells on a string and Elessar tried to bite into them. “No, no, they’re not food. C’mere.”

Horse watched as the two-leg quickly wrapped the strung-together bells around the rope halter. Elessar shook his head, then jumped backwards and shook his head again. He began to trot around Horse, his legs wildly stomping into the snow to the rhythm of the jingling bells.

Jack laughed and caught him by the halter when he passed by him again. “Too many bells, eh?” He got out the small tool Horse had seen him use a lot. Young Daniel carried a similar one with him. Jack cut some of the bells loose and let the foal go.

He started the trot again, but less frantic.

“There, that’s better.”

Horse was distracted from watching her young when the two-leg patted her rear and asked her if she was ready.

Oh! They were going to do the fun race again! Yes, yes, she was ready!

She turned her head to see the thing from the shed and later on the paddock. They had played this game a couple of times now. Like the added parts to the harness this was new, but not in the least frighting.

She watched as Jack climbed to the seat and now he was suddenly a lot taller than before, enthroned above her on the big red and golden frame. She waited for the tug of the reins and the command to “Let’s go!” and then she walked forward, feeling the weight of her burden. But it wasn’t hard to pull and once she had fallen into a steady trot it became even easier.

Elessar tagged along, down the path into the woods. There were tracks of their previous trips in the snow. Long lines from the thing Jack was on and her own hoofprints plus Elessar’s smaller ones.

She felt a cold breeze in her mane and tail and saw the clouds of her freezing breath hovering in the air. The bells jingled louder as she gathered speed and her hooves made the snow fly off the ground.

She sniggered and plowed through the snow, a sudden urge to go faster, to go forward. The two leg gave her free rein for a while when they crossed the meadow. Elessar skipped and ran beside her, then he stormed away from them, probably to stop and nibble at a young pine.

The two-leg suddenly called out to her to slow down and pulled those reins in. She didn’t want to slow down though, it was just starting to be fun!

“Hey!” The reins were pulled in more tightly and she shook her head, trying to stop Jack from restraining her. “Stop it! Whoa… Hooooh, easy now, easy...”

Why? She loved the snow and the bells and how easy the pulling was! Didn’t he want her to run? Didn’t he say it was fun? It was!

Then she saw the trees coming closer.

Too close.

“Slow down, Missy, hooooh… c’mon, slooow dooown….”

She was steered to the left and without thinking she followed the lead again and curbed her speed. She heard Jack yell something from behind, she was turned in a circle, back out onto the meadow. The steady firm tug of the reins never changed until she came to a gentle halt in the middle of the clearing.

There was some clattering and muttering before she felt his hands on her legs, checking for something, maybe to see if she was hurt? But she was fine. She’d had fun. She stuck her nose into the snow to see if there was grass underneath. Maybe she could find a tiny snack.

Finally Jack came around to stand in front of her. Curious she stepped closer and examined the burs and small fir twigs stuck to his cap and jacket.

He pushed at her head, none too gently. “You almost ran us into a tree, young lady.” He didn’t sound happy and she decided not to try and eat those fir twigs from his head.

“What were you _thinking_?” He grabbed his cap, pulled it off and picked the twigs and burs of it. “For cryin’ out loud, look at that…”

Horse didn’t want her two leg to be upset. She stepped close and put her jaw on his shoulder. She knew he liked that. She nibbled at the collar of his jacket and puffed warm breath into his ear. He snorted and leaned his face against her cheekbone. The skin of the two legs was so soft, their heads so small and there was so little fur on them… even though he was probably trying to grow a coat. There was a lot more hair on his face than there used to be.

They were very odd creatures, those two legs, but she loved this one. And the young one.

“You alright?” He pulled back and looked at her. “I guess we have to practice this some more, eh?”

Horse nodded. She liked this ‘practicing’ he kept talking about. It meant more running and more jingling bells. She just had to remember how fragile he was and that she had to be more gentle with him.

“Daniel’s comin’ home in four days from now. I think we’ll have this covered by then,” Jack said, patting her neck.

Soon Horse was going again, taking a longer route back to the cabin.

 _Daniel will be home Daniel will be home Daniel will be home_ , the bells seemed to ring with every step she took.

Soon.

  
  


December 24th

Going Home!  
  


“And remember, you won’t have enough time to buy a train ticket,” Lisa whispered as she stood in line with Daniel to be allowed on the bus that would take them to the train station.

Until the end of November Jack had come to pick him up with the truck, but due to the heavy snow fall some of the smaller roads were now blocked and any students going home on the weekends had to take the train. That, and apparently it was one of the school’s tradition that kids went home by train or bus on the holidays.

Daniel thought it was very Hogwarts-ish.

“I know, I’ve got this,” he hissed. They had gone through the plan so many times, he could repeat every single step in his sleep.

“Guys, hey, guys!” One of Lisa’s friends, Nicole, had left her place in line and stepped up close to them. She smelled like some heavy sweet perfume and Daniel forced himself not to take a step back. He would have bumped into the boy behind him if he had. “Have you heard about Clover and his goons?” Nicole’s voice was full of glee.

“What happened?” Daniel hadn’t seen them much after the underwear incident. Not that he had been looking for them or anything, but the usual bullying Linus regularly endured had been noticeably lacking this last week.

“They were in detention all week to do research about the spirit of Christmas. Anderson expects a full power point presentation with slides and a written essay, complete with a list of research references from each of them after the holidays. And they weren’t allowed to start on it until they get home. Only do research for sources and take notes.”

Lisa grinned from ear to ear, but Daniel frowned. “Why? What’s the reason?”

“Not sure, but I heard Clover whine about it to a classmate this morning. He said the school sent out letters to their parents, too.” Nicole scoffed.

“Ohhhh, seems like some of us might not have such a great Christmas this year,” Lisa said, rolling her eyes. “It’s about time some of those bullies got busted.” She hugged her friend. “Happy hols, Nicole!”

“I don’t care what they were busted for. It just made my day to see them suffer.” Nicole winked at Daniel and went back to her own place in line.

Daniel took a covert look around and spotted Clover and his two friends, along with two other boys in line for the second bus.

 _At least they’re not riding with us_ , he thought with relief. Unlike Lisa, who looked very pleased about Nicole’s news, Daniel wasn’t happy about it. Bullies would be bullies. And if they got caught and disciplined, they’d be mad and looked for revenge.

But he pushed those thoughts away. They would deal with that after the holidays.

Now he was going home.

They had almost reached the door and Miss Donovan, the house mother, with her list. Daniel glanced at the open door of the cargo area at the bottom of the bus where Linus had made himself comfortable. He hoped his friend wouldn’t get squashed by all the bags and suitcases the driver had tossed in there not too gently earlier today.

Lisa nudged him again and whispered, “Jim is trying to find excuses for Linus’ absence as long as he can. If he has to tell them... I hope they don’t call your dad until you’ve had some time to explain this to him.” She chewed on her lip, a habit Daniel shared with her. She looked just as nervous as he felt. “I wish I could go with you, too. The place you live sounds amazing. And I’m gonna miss all the excitement now,” she blurted out.

“Uh-huh, all the excitement, sure, yeah,” Daniel murmured as they reached the door. The whole time he had lived with Jack he had never been in serious trouble.

Well, there was probably a first time for everything. He had wanted to call Jack and tell him, but Lisa and Jim had insisted it was easier to ask for forgiveness later than ask for permission. Besides, it would complicate things if Jack refused to cooperate.

All good points.

And a strategy Daniel remembered using _before_. He also remembered, vaguely, that he had been in trouble with Jack _before_. A lot.

Miss Donovan was waiting for them with her clipboard. She wished them a great time and happy holidays and crossed their names out on her list of home-goers.

Daniel wished her happy holidays, too. He really liked Miss Donovan. Almost as much as he liked Minnie, the cook.

“Say hi to your handsome dad from me,” she said with a wink.

“Yes, ma’am.” Daniel tried not to roll his eyes, but he had to smile anyway.

“What was _that_?” Lisa asked when they had found their seats.

“Uh, the first weekend Jack came to pick me up, Miss Donovan was carrying a huge laundry basket over from the laundry room and Jack took it from her and carried it all the way up to the dorm rooms. I think she’s got a crush on him.”

The weekend after, when Jack had showed up, Miss Donovan had gifted him with one of Minnie’s apple pies. They had taken it home and Jack had said Daniel hadn’t exaggerated when he’d claimed Minnie’s pies were the best in the whole wide world.

“Oh myyyy,” Lisa giggled.

The drive to the next town with a train station wasn’t long and Daniel was relieved when they arrived. He experienced another burst of worry when their driver opened the cargo area to unload the luggage. But just as they had planned, Lisa distracted the guy while Daniel quickly helped Linus to climb out.

No one took notice. Most of the kids had already taken off to catch their trains. Lisa and Daniel had made sure their luggage was the first to be put in and the last to come out when the kids had gotten the order to line up their suitcases by the bus before breakfast. At first they had considered trying to hide Linus in the back of the bus, but when they’d taken their bags out, before anyone else had, it turned out the doors had been locked. The cargo area, however had been open. That’s how poor Linus had ended up riding like a real stow-away.

Now the little guy climbed out, high-fived Daniel, quickly rounded the bus and took off towards the tall red brick building.

Lisa and Daniel thanked the bus driver and ran after their friend.

“That went well,” Lisa giggled minutes later when they caught up to Linus in front of the small coffee shop inside the train station.

Linus’ usually milk-white skin had two red spots on his cheeks and his eyes were sparkling with excitement. “Sometimes being tiny pays off!”

“And I had no idea you could run this fast,” Lisa said. “No one saw you.”

“He’s got the hyper drive,” Daniel grinned.

“Okay, I gotta go. Daniel, don’t lose our Tiny Tim and bring him back in one piece.”

Linus snorted, but grinned. It was amazing how within just a couple of days the hated nickname didn’t seem to bother him any longer.

Lisa wrapped her arms around each boy’s shoulders and squeezed them all together. “Happy Holidays!” Then she picked up her bag and was on her way to the back exit where the regular bus station was.

Daniel looked around, trying to figure out where they had to go. The train station wasn’t big. Four platforms and the concourse was structured very clearly. There was a coffee shop, a book store, a florist and a service point where two elderly guys were selling tickets and answering customer questions.

“To Hermanstown we have to go to platform three,” Linus said before Daniel could get out his ticket to take a look. “I had to switch trains there when I went home last summer. The school usually books a couple of compartments for us, but we can take a seat wherever. The conductor doesn’t really care where you sit.” He swallowed. “As long as you have a ticket.”

Daniel nodded. “Okay. Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.” They had practiced that part, too. Covert ops. Jack would be so proud… well, probably not.

“What if one of the other kids notices I’m on the train?” Linus spun in a circle, a deer-in-the-headlight look in his eyes.

“We’ll tell them I invited you for the holidays. That’s not even a lie.” Daniel shouldered his backpack and got into motion. Platform three was easy to find and they took the escalator. When the boys arrived at the platform they melted into the steady flow of students and other passengers who were waiting for the train to roll in.

In the middle of the platform, stretched out from one end to the other, was a long roofed area with benches where passengers could sit and wait when the weather was bad. Today, while the sky looked as if it was going to snow later, there was no rain or hail and most people were waiting outside. Daniel ushered Linus along underneath the roof where they were shrouded in shadows.

Just when they had reached the far end of the platform, the train arrived.

“It would be so cool if it was a train like the Hogwarts Express,” Linus sighed. “I always wanted to ride on a steam train.”

“And have an owl as a pet?” Daniel loved Harry Potter, too.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone had been one of the first books Jack had read to him, back then when Daniel had lost his voice. Jack had read to him every night. He had never skipped it, not a single night. And then, later, after Jack had helped Daniel to get his voice back, they had read to one another in turns. All the Potter books, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, The Empire of Gold, Catcher in the Rye, Treasure Island, Tom Sawyer… many of those books Jack had brought home from the local library in Hermanstown. Daniel remembered their smell of old paper and dust, he remembered all those nights they had sat out at the pond or on the porch or snuggled up on the couch by the fireplace inside.

“Why not? I like owls. They have the coolest eyes,” Linus’ words pulled Daniel out of his musings.

“We better get on,” he said when most passengers had boarded the train. Linus walked in front of him so that Daniel could almost shield him with his body. They made it inside and much to their relief the six seats in the first compartment they entered were empty.

“You know what to do if the conductor shows up, right?” Daniel asked as he shrugged out of his coat and hung it on the hook by the window. He had taken his long thick school coat with him instead of his favorite green aviator-style winter jacket which somehow reminded him of those field jackets he used to wear _before._

Linus squeezed into the corner, quickly hid underneath the hanging coat and pulled up his legs. Daniel put his backpack on the seat next to the small boy and stepped back. “Perfect cover,” he observed.

“Why isn’t there such a thing as the cloak of invisibility,” Linus muttered.

Then he sneezed. Twice.

Daniel froze. “Don’t do that!”

“Sorry!”

Daniel fell into his seat, letting out a whoosh of air, only to jump again and close the compartment door with a bang.

Linus stuck his head out from under Daniel’s coat. “What…?”

“Nothing, sorry.” He bit his lip. Too much pent-up energy Jack would say. What if the ticket guy found out about Linus? What if he showed up before the train had even taken off, what if…

There was a slight jolt and a rumble and when Daniel looked out the window, the train station started to move away from them. Or rather they were moving away from the train station.

“Oh good,” he sighed and shared a grin with Linus.

He wondered how long it would take for the conductor…

The compartment door opened with a hiss and a tall man in uniform and a huge gray mustache stood on the threshold. “Hello, young man. Going home over the holidays?”

Daniel licked his lips and blinked. “Yes. I am. Just me. No one else in here.” He tried not to look at his coat. Apparently Linus had covered himself quickly enough because the ticket guy just smiled.

“I can see that. Do you have your ticket?”

“Yes.” Then, realizing said ticket was in his coat pocket, Daniel slipped from his seat and went to his coat. And Linus underneath it. He opened the zipper of the side pocket and pulled out the slip of paper with two fingers, mindful not to poke his friend. Linus was terribly ticklish.

“You’re a bit far off from the others,” the conductor said when Daniel handed him the ticket.

“I.. what?”

“From your peers. You’re from the school, right?” He studied the ticket. Why did he have to take that long? Was something wrong with the ticket?

“I, uh, was late and grabbed the first seat I saw.”

“You were late and chose to get into the last wagon?”

Daniel rubbed his hands on his jeans. “I like riding in the last wagon. I never ride in the front wagons. Brings bad luck.”

“Right.” And still the guy held Daniel’s ticket. “Are you alright, kid? You’re sweating a little. Hope you’re not running a fever.”

“No, sir, it’s just very warm in here.” _Please, go away,_ Daniel thought.

“Just to be safe, drink some hot lemon when you get home. Squeeze lemon juice into a little pot, add some honey and water, let it cook and then sip it while it’s still hot. Great immune system boost.”

“Lemons. Okay.” Daniel almost snatched the ticket out of the man’s grasp when it was handed to him. “Thank you, sir. Merry Christmas.”

“And to you.” The man turned and walked away.

Just like that.

Daniel closed the door.

Jack had told him he used to fight Goa’uld. And Jaffa. And that he had often baited the bad guys. Snake baiting Jack had called it. Daniel could sense some of those memories, like they were just slumbering somewhere under the surface of who he was now.

There was no way in netu he could ever return to that kind of life. Even this little adventure was way too much excitement for his taste.

Though, now that the ticket guy was gone, Daniel thought the situation had been funny, too. Kind of. Maybe. A little bit.

Linus stuck his head out again. “Is he gone?” And after a pause. “Boy, you look awful.”

“Thanks,” Daniel deadpanned.

“No.” Linus crawled out from his hiding place and came over to sit beside Daniel. “Thank you.”

“What for? For getting both of us in heaps of trouble?”

Linus shook his head, his brown curls whipping from left to right. “No one has ever…” He shrugged. “You know… just… thanks.”

Daniel sighed. “We’re not there yet.”

Linus gave him a hesitant smile. “Your dad won’t be mad you invited me, right?”

“No, he won’t.” _But he might be a bit ticked you came along without permission from school. Or your parents_ , Daniel thought.

Linus sighed and lowered his head. “They might suspend me. Or throw me out right away.”

“Or both of us.” Daniel wasn’t looking forward to that particular conversation with Mr. Anderson. Or Jack.

And he realized with a sudden clarity that he didn’t want to leave the school.

He actually liked it. And now he even had friends which was kind of a miracle to him.

“No. You’re just trying to make my holidays super cool. I’m gonna tell them that. They can kick me out, but not you,” Linus explained and crossed his arms over his chest.

 _Your words in whoever’s ears_ , Daniel thought.

Two hours later he watched the landscape slide by his window when the train picked up speed again after its first stop at a small station in the middle of nowhere. Trees, bushes, meadows, all asleep under a white fluffy blanket, waiting patiently for the return of spring when the snow melted away and the water would come down the hills – there were no mountains in Minnesota, only hills – filling the creeks and lakes with melt water. The creek across the meadow with the wildflowers in Horse’s favorite clearing would swell and flood the soil in March to help the wildflowers grow and blossom later.

But right now everything was asleep. The flowers, the trees, the bugs and bears… the squirrels would wake up occasionally to find one of their hidden food stash. Snowshoe hares would still be out looking for food like grass and branches and weed.

Linus was asleep as well, tucked away in his corner, halfway covered by Daniel’s coat. They had eaten the bag of cookies and the sandwiches Minnie had put into the students’ lunch boxes. Well, Linus didn’t have a lunchbox of course, but there was plenty of food in Daniel’s, so that was okay.

The door to his compartment opened and before Daniel could leap across and cover Linus fully an elderly lady stomped in, tossing her battered travel bag on a free seat. “Is this seat taken? Obviously it’s not. Good good.”

She left again only to return laden with several shopping bags, filled with what seemed to be gifts. Daniel could see pink, blue and golden wrapped packages peeking out. With a huff she piled those bags left and right of her feet once she sat down.

Then she eyed Daniel. “You don’t mind, do ya?” Then she looked at Linus. “That your lil brother?”

“A friend.”

Linus yawned and rubbed his eyes. When he discovered they had company he let out a squeak and shrunk further into his corner.

“Skittish like a lil kitten, that one.” Their new travel companion snorted very unlady-like. “Do you speak?”

Linus squeaked again. “Yes, ma’am.”

She snorted again “Ma’am! Do I look like a ma’am to you? No, I don’t. I’m Irma.”

She started to take off her purple fleece hat and long long scarf, then her purple – matching her hat - winter coat, followed by a red cardigan, followed by another cardigan, this one green with yellow gingerbread men appliques. Underneath she was wearing a gray knitted sweater with dancing candy canes and Santa Clause hats in red and white.

Daniel knew he was staring… and so was Linus. It wasn’t nice to stare, but he couldn’t help it. She was wearing a long thick woolen red skirt that reached down to her ankles. Daniel could see a pair of furry boots in the same color as the sweater.

“Holy Santa on a snow mobile,” Linus muttered and rubbed his eyes again.

“Do I look like Mrs Clause to you? Of course I do.” She chuckled, a rumbling sound that turned into a slight cough. She shook her head and muttered. “Sorry. I should stop smoking those cigarillos. My lil sister, Mae, keeps telling me to quit. But she’s a boring spoilsport, isn’t she? Of course she is.”

“Uh, sorry, I wasn’t staring…” Daniel said lamely.

“I was,” Linus admitted freely. “You really really like Christmas, don’t you?”

She threw back her head and let out a loud belly laugh that was just as rumbling as her chuckle from earlier. “Do I love Christmas? Yes, sure I do! It’s the only time of year where you get away with dressing like a lunatic and no one cares.” She leaned toward Linus’ and stage-whispered. “You shoulda see my dress for tonight. It’s like a prom dress and has light strings. Purple and green. I’mma look like a Christmas tree.”

Linus’ eyes grew big. “For real?”

“Sure. I got it on eBay. There’s fancy stuff to buy! Did I buy it to annoy my sister Mae? Sure, I did! But mostly I bought it because I know my nieces will love it.” She sat back and looked very proud. “I have six nieces! Like a bunch of lil chickens.”

Daniel looked out the window again. It was getting kind of dark. He craned his neck a little to look upwards, over the treetops and the sky was leaden and cloudy, even more so than it had been this morning. Even the snow looked almost gray now and the woods seemed glum and menacing, a silent army of Ents waiting to strike.

“Snow’s getting more dense,” Irma muttered.

“Do you think there’s a blizzard coming?” Daniel squirmed a little in his seat. What if Jack was already on his way to pick him up? What if he got caught in the blizzard? He checked his watch. Another hour to go.

Irma clucked her tongue and opened her travel bag. She pulled out some knitting. To Daniel it looked like a stocking in the making. Or a Santa hat? It was red. “Nah, just more snow. Is that good? I think so, yes, we need lots of snow on Christmas. The more snow the better!”

There was some commotion and noise outside their compartment door. Daniel froze. “Linus,” he hissed. Then he turned, what he hoped were pleading eyes, on Irma. “Please don’t tell on us. He has no ticket.”

“Well, well, why would he have no ticket? Maybe he’s a little elfling. Then he won’t need one,” Irma said, chuckling.

Linus had retreated so far into his corner underneath the coat, that he was invisible again. Irma grabbed Daniel’s backpack and adjusted it carefully.

“Ahhh, I see you have company, my young friend,” the conductor said with a smile.

“This is Irma,” Daniel said.

“Oh, Irma and I have known each other for quite a while.” The guy bowed his head in her direction. “Visiting your nieces, Irma?”

She handed him a wrinkled ticket she had retrieved from her bag. “Someone has to bring a bit joy and craziness into their dull lives, Stew.”

Stew grinned. “I’m sure Mae isn’t as bad a mother as you make her appear to be.” He barely looked at her ticket before handing it back.

Irma let out a harrumph and Stew laughed. “Happy Holidays, Irma.”

“And to you, Stew. Didya know there are elves riding with us today? Yep, they sure are. It’s Christmas Eve, after all. I saw one right here a minute ago.”

“Did he fly out the window? I hope he gives Santa a head’s up to bring my kids a puppy, they have been asking for one all year.” Stew raised his hand to his cap in a playful salute and left.

Linus unwrapped himself from Daniel’s coat, his face red with embarrassment. “I’m not an elf!”

“You sure look like one though,” Irma insisted.

“They call me Tiny Tim at school,” Linus slipped out from his corner to take the seat next to Daniel. Then he suddenly smiled. “I guess being an elf is actually an upgrade.”

“Being an elf is an honor, I tell you, little fledgling,” Irma said solemnly and returned to her knitting.

Daniel reached back and pulled his phone from his pants pocket. First he checked the weather app. It confirmed what Irma had said. More snow, but no blizzard, that was good. He didn’t have enough net coverage to call Jack, but he sent a text message to let him know he would arrive at Hermanstown on time.

Ten minutes later he got a reply.

_Ho ho ho, I’m on my way :)_


	3. A Sleigh Ride

Home for Christmas

A Sleigh Ride 

December 24  th 

Santa Clause is coming to town...  
  


Stew, the ticket guy, helped Irma with her many bags when they all exited the train in Hermanstown. There had been a short alarming moment of panic when Stew had suddenly appeared just moments before the train had stopped and Linus was standing by the door with them. Curiously enough the conductor hadn’t batted an eyelid. Maybe he thought Linus had come to join them from another compartment?

Not that it mattered. They had gotten of the train without a hitch.

Daniel and Linus picked up those bags – Daniel two large ones, Linus two small ones – and trudged to the station building after Irma who had taken point, carrying her old traveling bag. Dressed in all those cardigans and her big purple winter coat she now looked even more like Mrs Clause – or like she had eaten cookies all year long. Her long skirts caught in the snow drifts here and there, but that didn’t bother her.

It was snowing, but not nearly as hard as it had just an hour ago. Linus stuck out his tongue like a little kid, trying to catch the twirling flakes, and giggled when they melted in his mouth.

Hermanstown station was alight and warm when they entered through the heavy double doors and dropped all the bags by the long wooden benches in the middle of the room.

The front doors leading to the station square and parking lot were even bigger than the ones they had just entered through. Daniel was reminded of church doors. They were made of oak, dark from age and the handles looked like wrought iron. Someone had hung a fir garland with red ribbons around the doorframe.

There was even a small tree in a corner, decked with red and golden baubles and some straw stars. But the ticket booth was closed and there was only a coffee vending machine in another corner.

Irma got out her phone and glared at it. “No net,” she muttered. “Always the same drama out here. Will Mae come out to pick me up anyway? Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not.”

“Does your sister know when your train arrives?” Daniel glanced at his own phone. Yep, no net. But Jack was on his way.

“No. We had an argument on the phone last week and I told her I wasn’t coming.” Irma wrapped the endless scarf around her skinny neck. Once, twice, three times. The scarf had dancing snowmen on it. “But would I let my nieces down on Christmas? Of course, I wouldn’t! She must know that. But she doesn’t know when I’ll be there.”

“Where does your sister live?”

“Oh, lil town doesn’t even have a real name, I think. It’s just some backwater village in the middle of nowhere. Between here and Hazel Run. Officially it’s part of Hazel Run, but we call it…”

“Hazel Run’s butt,” Daniel grinned. “Our cabin is close to it, you can ride with us.”

“What great luck it was that I chose you and the little elf as my travel companions today.” Irma smiled, found a seat on a bench, got out her knitting and started working on it.

Linus stepped to one of the large windows by the front door. “Look, ice flowers!”

The fractals were beautiful. Depending on which angle you looked from they appeared to be frost flowers, fern leaves, ocean waves… Daniel gazed in awe at the delicate patterns the frozen water had painted on the glass. They had ice flowers at the cabin, too. Jack kept muttering about getting better insolated windows, but Daniel loved the gift of art nature gave them each winter.

Linus’ small fingers traced the lines and patterns and Daniel knew his friend was already trying to figure out how to get them on paper, what colors and what technique to use.

“There’s a huge acrylic color set on Amazon, all winter colors. You know, different shades of blue, white, gray, silver and some gold. It has metallic tones and pastel tones,” Linus said, apparently more to himself than to anyone in particular. “I put it on my Christmas list. I always have an Amazon wishlist for my family they can buy from. I hope I get it.”

“Amazon? Bah, humbug. What about Santa?” Irma asked, not looking up from her knitting.

Linus paused his wandering finger on the window. “Santa? There’s no Santa, Irma.”

“Says the boy who looks like his elf,” Irma tsked. She nudged Daniel who was sitting next to her. “What about you, Daniel? Do you still believe in Santa?”

Daniel looked at her blankly. How was he to explain…? “Santa,” he started slowly, “is a myth. There was a guy named St. Nikolaus once, he was from Turkey, and he went out to help poor families by handing out presents. But our Santa, here, the one who comes with a sleigh and enters homes through chimneys goes back to the poem ‘Twas the night before Christmas.”

“And Disney movies,” Linus added.

“Oh, do you kids have any holiday spirit, any Christmas magic left in your hearts? I don’t think so!”

“I love the holidays,” Daniel said quietly. “I love everything about Christmas. The colors, the smell, the taste. The snow and the lights and the tree. But Santa isn’t real.”

“It’s not about whether Santa is real, m’boy!” Irma waved around her knitting and the red loops started slipping off the needles. “It’s about imagination! It’s about wishes and anticipation and belief.”

“I believe in…” Daniel frowned. “I believe in kindness. And in family. In friendship. I believe that there’s always light with the dark.” Though he had once almost lost that particular belief. “I believe in the wonders of nature. How caterpillars turn into beautiful butterflies, how a tiny seed turns into a flower, a sapling into a tree. I believe in…” He paused, listening to the mental echo of his own voice. He didn’t usually talk this much.

Not anymore. But the thoughts were still coming and the words wanted out.

He looked at his hands. “I believe that Christmas is a time where people put more effort into giving and forgiving. And that all living beings come closer together and if you listen very carefully you can hear the animals talk on Christmas Eve. I believe in...”

“SANTA!” Linus’ loud cheer, laced with childish joy and incredulity, stopped Daniel’s word flow. “SANTA is coming!”

In the following silence the jingling of bells could be heard.

“Daniel, you gotta see this! Irma, look!” Linus scrambled to the door, hanging onto the handle with both hands as he tried to pull it open.

Daniel and Irma exchanged a look. “So much for Santa isn’t real,” the old woman chuckled.

Daniel hurried to help his friend with the heavy doors. Snowflakes and cold air hit their faces, but he didn’t notice any of that. His eyes were glued to the lights and the chiming of bells coming down the small hill onto Hermanstown’s deserted snowed in Main Street.

Those lights, framing what looked like a huge sleigh, kept changing colors from white to red and back to white in slow motion. There was a glimpse of a long tail, a flash of flying mane, bright runners and a red structure with brilliant little stars painted all over, when it crossed under the street lights at the bottom of the hill before it described a wide curve and…

Linus’ small hand had an iron grip on Daniel’s arm. “Looookit!”

Behind them Irma let out a loud, “Holy moly!”

...slowed down as it entered the parking lot of Hermanstown station.

“Ho ho Hoooo,” Santa called as his sleigh came to a smooth halt on the station square in front of the doors.

Daniel stared.

And stared some more.

“Horse,” he whispered and finally crossed the walkway to step into the square to his mare. She was beautiful. Her legs were clad in red wrappings and she was wearing a bridle with tiny bells at the browband and the crownpiece. Horse shoved her nose against his chest and sniggered a soft greeting. Daniel hugged her large head, carded his hands through her mane and pressed his flushed face against her blaze. “Hey, Horse,” he breathed in her familiar scent and felt her warm skin under his hands. “You’re Santa’s helper tonight? Look at you, you are a princess.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?”

He pulled away from his companion to see Jack climbing down from the sleigh. He was wearing his favorite currant-red winter ball cap with earflaps and his lined winter jacket of the same color.

Daniel blinked at the beard. The beard was new. A giggle bubbled up in his chest. “Santa?”

Jack snorted. “Trying to fit the clichè here. How am I doin’?”

Before Daniel could tell him that he needed to work on the clothes and the belly, Linus had made his way over to them and tugged at Daniel’s coat. “Is that your _dad_? I didn’t recognize him with that beard!”

Daniel grinned. “Hi, Jack.”

Linus heaved a huge sigh. “And I thought you were Santa. I’m kinda too old to believe in Santa, but you just…” He waved at the sleigh with both arms. “This is so cooool!”

Jack’s left eyebrow climbed upwards. “Lionel, right?”

“Linus. We’ve met.”

Daniel was glad he had instructed Jack not to make any Peanut jokes before he had even introduced his friend to him. They had only met briefly from time to time when Jack had picked Daniel up at school or dropped him off, but he knew Jack’s tendency to play with names and pull people’s legs and Linus already had enough jokes to deal with at school.

“Of course.” Jack held out his gloved hand to him. “I’m Santa, but that’s my secret identity. You can call me Jack.”

Linus’ hand vanished completely in Jack’s. “I’m your elf, but that’s my secret identity, too.”

Jack’s eyebrow wandered up again. “Elf, you say?”

Linus laughed. “Irma said I’m an elf.”

Daniel looked back over his shoulder only to see Irma burst out of the station, laden with all her bags like a mule. She was currently cursing and muttering under her breath as she tried not to get smacked in the face by the doors.

Linus ran over to take some her bags so that she could get a hold of the door. One of them ripped open at the bottom and gifts started spilling out into the snow and in the doorway. They engaged in an interesting dance of juggling packages, trying to keep the door open, with Irma losing her long scarf and her purple hat in the process.

Jack put a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Another friend of yours?”

“Um, that’s Irma. We met her on the train. She’s visiting her nieces.” Daniel shuffled his feet in the snow. “Her sister lives in our village. I offered her a ride home.”

“Of course you did.” Giving the kid’s shoulder a quick squeeze, Jack reached the pair just in time to pull Linus out of the way and grab the door. Daniel followed to collect some of the gifts and with a bit of running back and forth they managed to put everything into the sleigh’s large interior space.

Irma, who had regained her good mood once Jack had come to the rescue, was laughing her rumbling laughter and tossed the last bag into the sleigh. “What a sight, what a sight! Is good ole Mae gonna be green with envy when she sees me comin’ with Santa in a sleigh? You bet, you bet she will be!”

She twirled around, grabbed a nonplussed Jack by the lapels of his jacket, pulled him down to her level and smacked a kiss on his cheek. “This is gonna be the best Christmas ever, Mister Santa!”

Jack blinked. And took a quick step backwards. “Dan-ie-l,” he growled out of the corner of his mouth.

“Irma’s got a lot of Christmas spirit.” Daniel shrugged.

Jack’s eyebrow did another upturn and Daniel was beginning to worry it might never come down again. But his older friend refrained from saying anything else and helped Irma up into the small back seat. Linus climbed in after her like a little monkey.

Jack informed them there were blankets under the seat and they bundled up right away.

Daniel took a seat up front and was quickly wrapped in a warm afghan as well.

“How were you able to teach her?” he asked when Horse calmly began trotting up the hill with barely any prompting from the reins.

“I asked her nicely,” Jack smirked, then shrugged. “Might be someone used to drive her before. She picked up on it pretty fast.”

“She’s just very smart,” Daniel decided. He looked around, admiring the wooden frame of the sleigh. As far as he could see in the lights’ illumination the edges were all painted in gold, the body of the sleigh in a dark red with golden stars dotted all over it. It must have taken Jack hours to paint it. Even if he had used stencils. Their seat was cushioned with a thick white horse blanket and red pillows for their backs. “When did you start building this?”

“Back in November. Had to lock it away in the shed to keep it a secret.” Jack kept his eyes on the horse when he added, lightly, “Of course things got a lot easier when you decided you weren’t coming home this month because you had so much studying to do.”

Daniel folded his hands in his lap and gazed at the Norwegian pattern on his gloves. “You didn’t buy that, huh?”

“Nope.”

“But you didn’t ask.”

“Figured you’d tell me eventually.”

Daniel let out a woosh of air. “I will. I promise.”

Jack gave him a sideways glance. “Good enough.” He clucked his tongue and horse picked up speed.

After a couple of minutes Jack offered him the reins. “Just hold them steady, we’re going straight ahead for a while. I’ll show you how to navigate properly tomorrow when you can actually see where you wanna go.”

“Where did you learn how to drive a horse?” Daniel took over and immediately Horse’s ears twitched and she nodded her head as if she was saying she approved of her new driver.

“When I was a kid and my grandparents lived at our cabin they only had a horse. And a wagon. No car. My grandpa taught me.”

“And now you’re going to teach me.”

Jack put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into half-a-bear hug. “You bet.”

  
  


Still December 24th

Jingle Bells

  
  


“ _Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way, Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh… Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way, Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh!”_

With a flick of his fingers Jack let the flaps of his cap fall over his ears. Daniel looked up at him with sympathy and grinned. Jack was just grateful the two voices, one rumbling and loud, one high pitched and… loud, coming from the back of his sleigh weren’t scaring Horse.

They had started with ‘Oh Christmas Tree’ a while ago and then gone to ‘Winter Wonder Land’ and ‘Frosty’. And now this.

“ _Dashing through the snow, In a one horse open sleigh, Over the fields we go, Laughing all the way.”_

At least this one was quite fitting.

“So, Daniel,” Jack cleared his throat and tried to talk over the singing pair in the back. “I’m kinda used to you bringing home strays…”

But usually those strays were injured mammals or birds, not humans. And they didn’t sing Christmas songs at the top of their lungs.

“Linus had nowhere to go for the holidays. This is the second Christmas in a row he couldn’t go home.” Daniel looked longingly at the reins, but Jack had taken over again when they had entered the woods. These ancient forest roads were old and winding.

“You could’ve called, you know? I’d have hung up another stocking.”

“I wanted to, but…” Daniel adjusted his woolen cap. “I kinda…” There was lip biting and even though Jack couldn’t see it in the dark, he was pretty sure the kid was blushing. “It’s…”

“Complicated?”

“Yes. Can we… talk about all this later, Jack?”

“Later… as in after Christmas?” Jack wasn’t sure he should go with that. He wished it wasn’t so damn dark. If he could see Daniel’s face he might at least get a clue on what was going on in the kid’s head.

“Um, yes? Please?”

“Tomorrow.” Jack had a feeling even that little bit of delay might come back to bite him, but what the hell… He wouldn’t be able to return Linus in the middle of the night anyway if that’s what Daniel worried about. Then again, there was no way Daniel would have been able to sneak a kid out of school without them knowing about it, right?

Nah.

No way.

“But...” Daniel started and Jack raised a finger to cut him off.

“Aht!”

They exchanged a look in the dark and there was a sheepish smile in Daniel’s voice. “Okay. Tomorrow. And, I mean, just in advance… just in case you’re annoyed… I’m sorry.”

Jack knew he should ask questions. Lots of questions. But it was late and it was Christmas Eve. “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission?”

“Lisa and Jim said that, too.”

“ _Bells on bobtail ring, Making sprits bright, What fun it is to ride and sing, A sleighing song tonight, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…”_

Jack made a show of looking around, staring into the dark woods surrounding them. “There are more kids hiding somewhere around here?”

That lured a laugh out of Daniel. “Ja-ack. They’re kids from school. Friends. Don’t worry, I didn’t bring _all_ of them.”

“Good,” Jack heaved a sigh of relief. “I was worried there for a second. We only have one turkey.”

 _Look at that,_ he thought, _Daniel made friends. As in plural._

Big Daniel hadn’t had any problems making friends in the oddest places. Maybe this version was beginning to figure out how to socialize again. Maybe, just maybe, Lam had been on to something when she pushed the school issue a bit.

They left the winding old forest road and turned onto the much better and straight-ahead new forest road. Jack handed the reins back to Daniel.

From the back seat the full blast of “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” carried out into the quiet woods. Every critter around was sure getting the memo now. The holidays weren’t just coming, they had arrived with an orchestra of – if not very much in tune – enthusiastic carolers.

“...w _ith the kids jingle belling, And everyone telling you be of good cheer, It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”_

“Twenty more minutes, tops,” Jack muttered under his breath.

“They’re right though,” Daniel said. “This is the most wonderful time of the year.”

Jack nudged him. “Tell her to pick up speed.”

“But… how?”

“Give her more rein and tell her to giddy-up.”

“Giddy-up?” Daniel snorted. “Isn’t that a bit… red neck-ish?”

“Red-neck-ish?” Jack drawled. Someone was in a good enough mood to let out his snarky side.

“Yeah, you know, like… honky-tonk, or cold as a witch’s tit… or howdy… or poop or get off the pot? Giddy-up?”

“You been taking language classes at that school of yours?”

Daniel shrugged. “No. I guess I picked those up when I worked for Harry at the store. Did you know he’s originally from Georgia? Well, his family was, his grandfather anyway.”

“Ah. Right.” Jack should’ve known. He’d been playing poker with Harry and the village’s old timers for years now. Patting Daniel’s shoulder, he said, “Horse’s trained to voice commands. C’mon, try it. And click your tongue.”

Daniel cleared his throat, clucked his tongue and called out to her, “Hey, Horse! Giddy-up! Giddy-up! Go!”

Then he laughed. One of Jack’s favorite sounds. Because it happened so rarely. Even when his kid was happy, it was mostly a quiet kind of happiness.

Now he was laughing out loud and his eyes were sparkling in the sleigh lights as Horse sped up and the runners swished through the snow, making it splatter left and right. Her head bopped up and down, the bells jingled loud and bright and when Jack looked up the sky had cleared and stars were lurking above the treetops.

Yep. It sure was the most wonderful time of the year…

Until they finally reached the cabin where Loopy-Irma’s sister lived with her six young daughters.

Lured out by the bells and the loud singing, the girls had already been on the front porch when Daniel, with a little help from Jack, brought the sleigh to a halt by their garage.

Like a bunch of tiny fluttering Tinkerbells – and what was it with the damn Disney references popping into his fron lately - the kids swarmed out and Jack quickly jumped to the ground to get a hold of a startled Horse before she decided it was time to go home ASAP.

He could have used his big bad General-voice to bring some order to the chaos, but all the cheers of, “Santa!” “A sleigh!” “Look, the horse has BELLS on her!” “Aunt Irma, Aunt Irma, you came!” were just too giddy and happy to be really annoying.

So he put a hand on horse’s blaze and used his soothing voice, reserved for little Daniels and horses, to keep her calm. He also slipped a carrot between her teeth to keep her occupied.

Horse let the kiddies pat and squee over her and Jack let them stare at him in wonder. “Are you Santa Clause?” one of the blond little ladies asked around the thumb in her mouth. It sounded a bit garbled, like; Awe wu Thanna Clauthe?

Oy. Here we go. “Sure, and you must be….” Was Santa supposed to know her name? Then he suddenly remembered he’d seen this one and her siblings before, at Harry’s store. “Linda Mae!” They all were ‘Mae’ in some ways. He hoped he had gotten it right.

“Thue Mae,” she corrected him and pulled out her thumb. “But that’s okay, Linda Mae’s my twin.” She held up her arms to him.

Keeping one wary eye on the spit covered thumb, Jack hoisted her on one hip and let her pat Horse’s mane. “She’s not a reindeer,” Sue Mae observed.

“Nope. My reindeer are getting ready for the long flight later tonight. Horse here is my special buddy for picking up anyone whose having trouble getting to their families tonight,” Jack said in a conspiratorial whisper, giving Sue Mae a wink. “Your aunt was stuck at the station and I knew you kids wanted to see here, so here she is.”

He got a hug and another smacker, this one very slobbery, on his cheek. Before he let her down, he plucked one of the bells from Horses’ browband and handed it to her. “Merry Christmas, Sue Mae.”

Sue Mae let the bell slip into the pocket of her knitted Christmas sweater – it sported Rudolph with a very red nose – and ran off to a woman standing on the sidewalk. “Mommy, mommy, Santa gave me a bell!”

Mommy caught her little girl and hugged her tight. She looked over at him with a smile that lit up her tired face, mouthing a ‘Thank you’ his way.

And then three more of the Mae-sisters were looking up at him with saucer-eyes.

Jack gave bells to Linda Mae, Irma Mae and Mary Mae. The two older girls had – with much laughter and chatter - already carried Aunt Irma’s bags into the house and stayed inside.

Daniel and Linus were wrestled or strangled and probably suffocated by Irma’s arms and her purple fleece coat as she hugged the stuffing out of them.

Jack opted for quickly climbing back up on the sleigh to escape a similar fate. He was about a head taller than that woman, but he wasn’t taking any chances.

This time Daniel joined Linus in the back and by the time Jack steered Horse out of the forest and towards home, both boys were quietly enjoying the starry night. Jack heard Daniel educating his friend about constellations and what they meant.

Then a loud series of whinnys announced that Elessar had heard them coming. Horse answered in style and Jack had a bit of work to keep her from dashing forward. But they had practiced this, too. Leaving the baby at home and going out without him. So, after a nervous moment Horse slowed down despite the ongoing ‘Mommy!” calls.

“Jack, you put up the lights!” Daniel exclaimed when the house came into view.

“Yeah sure, it’s Christmas, bud.”

All the windows were framed by lights and so was the edge of the roof. Jack had even remembered to put one of the light-nets over the blackberry bushes by the deck.

“Did you get a tree?”

“I got two. One for the house, one for the critters.” They had put one up out in the woods last year, decked with all kind of treats for the Thumpers, Bambis, Bluebells and Winnie the Pooh’s out there.

“Did you put the one for the house up?”

“I put it up. Decked it, too.” Jack didn’t bother smothering his grin. From time to time Daniel acted his current age, which was sometimes a pain in the neck, but more often a refreshing change from his usual more composed demeanor.

“You have a real tree, right? Not an artificial one?” Linus piped up.

“Yes, we always chop our own,” Daniel said.

“Wow. And did you ever have ants in them? Or huge spiders? I’ve heard of trees having spider nests and when they were put up, people had spiders all over the house.”

“Don’t worry, we check it for nasty surprises.”

“Oh, okay.” The little guy sounded kinda disappointed.

Boys.

Horse stopped by the paddock and the kids were on the ground before Jack had put the reins down.

Elessar pranced wildly around the paddock and Daniel was almost stomped into the ground when he opened the gate. He laughed and pulled Linus out of harm’s way so that the foal could get to his mama.

Jack let them snuggle and unloaded the sleigh.

“Linus, where’s your bag?” he called out to the kids.

Silence answered him.

Interesting development there.

Daniel was already freeing Horse from her harness and Linus was hugging Elessar and getting slobbered and nipped at all over.

Jack watched them for a moment and then shrugged.

Tomorrow, I’ll get to the bottom of this, he thought. It was too late for interrogations anyway. Maybe not too late for a phone call, though. But first...

Jack had horses and kids to feed.

And another stocking to fill.

  
  



	4. Chirstmas Spirits

Christmas Spirits

December 25th

A look at the Past  
  


Daniel cradled Elessar’s head with both hands and brushed his thumbs over the foal’s brow, tousling his forelock. The foal was busy trying to get his nose into the pockets of his old parka, looking for treats. “You already got it,” Daniel scolded mildly, giving the white blazed nose a gentle pat.

He was sitting on top of the hayrack, his denim clad backside cushioned by the hay and straw he had put in just half an hour ago.

He had been up early, even before Jack had been stirring, and followed the morning routine he had missed so much at school. Starting the fire, brewing coffee, feeding cat, going outside and stocking up all the feeding places for their winter guests. Standing on the dock and looking over the pond – covered by layers of thick ice and snow – listening to the kingfisher’s call.

He had fed the horses their winter grains, carrots and apples and then spent some sweat-inducing time hacking away the ice in the horses’ old bathtub and working on the water pump to fill it up again. Jack had done something to the pump to keep it from freezing in the winter, but it still took longer for the generator to come to life and provide water when it was this cold.

His last act of morning duty had been to fill the hay rack and now he was taking a break. Elessar pulled back, shook his head and stalked off to drink while Horse munched on the hay.

It had still been dark when Daniel left the cabin, but now the sun was out in a clear blue sky. It was almost blindingly bright out here and the snow looked pristine even with the animal tracks around the rack. Daniel reached up to the wooden roof over his head and broke off an icicle.

He held it up to the sun, smiling at the reflections of light. Like a kaleidoscope. There were actual water drops caught within the solid ice. He took a tentative lick and then another. The best natural popsicle ever.

As soon as Elessar realized Daniel was sucking on something he bounded back to him to investigate. Daniel held the icicle out to him and the foal took it and crunched on the ice.

When both horses suddenly turned their heads towards the general direction of the cabin, Daniel let out a silent sigh.

Last night had been all cozy and fun. Jack had started the fire, served grilled cheese and ham sandwiches and hot chocolate with whipped cream along with a plate of cookies for dessert. Linus had aww-ed and ohh-ed at the tree, the cabin and fallen in love with Cat at first sight – the same way he had bonded with the horses right away.

Cat had even curled up in Linus’ lap later and allowed him to pet her all over which was one of the highest honors in Cat’s book because she was very picky about whom she deemed worthy to fulfill her needs for cuddles.

It had become one of Jack and Daniel’s traditions to read ‘Twas the Night before Christmas on Christmas Eve. On their first Christmas Eve out here Jack had read it and last year Daniel had done it. This year, out of the blue, Daniel had wondered if he might be a bit too old for ‘Twas the Night before Christmas? Maybe it was because Linus was with them and while he was only ten and so much smaller, Daniel had felt self conscious all of a sudden.

But Jack had talked about all the mischief the foal had gotten into, with Daniel contributing some tales about Horse and Cat. And then the second round of hot chocolate had been downed and the cookies eaten, and when Linus had finally stopped asking for more stories about the horses and Cat, Jack had gotten the book from the shelf and asked Linus if he wanted to read the poem to them.

And all of Daniel’s doubts had melted away at his friend’s bright eyes and the way he had beamed at them when he had opened the book, cleared his throat and started reading.

 **“'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house  
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;**  
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there…”

After that Jack had put up the old field bed in Daniel’s room and they had gone to bed.

That had been last night and this morning, as far as Daniel was concerned, it was time to face the music.

He glanced at the tall figure making its way over to them.

Daniel noticed that Jack had shaved. Last night he had really looked like some O’Neill version of Santa Clause – or at least like a mild-mannered woodsman. Today the beard was gone and Jack looked like Jack again.

And this Jack didn’t look like a happy camper.

Still wearing that currant-colored cap though.

“I just had a very interesting phone conversation with your school’s headmaster.”

Daniel’s first urge was to shrink back into the hay rack and bury himself in the straw. Which, of course, would only have worked if he was as tiny as Linus. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Did they call you? Do we have to take Linus back? It’s not his fault, it was all my idea.” Well, and Lisa’s and Jim’s. But Jack didn’t have to know that.

“It was all your…?” Jack impatiently shoved an approaching Elessar aside. “Do you realize what kind of mess you got yourselves into?” He threw up his hands. “I can’t believe you snuck him outta there like that!”

“I just wanted to give Linus a great Christmas. He gets bullied at school all the time and now his parents don’t even want to spend time with him during the holidays. I just wanted to make him happy,” Daniel blurted out.

“You could have just invited him over!”

“I did.” It was out before Daniel could bite his tongue. He cringed. “Sort off.”

“Daniel!”

He froze.

Whenever Jack used Daniel’s name like a reprimand or an occasional warning it had always been different from _before_. Less biting. More like a nudge or a gentle verbal swat, never like it used to be before.

Today it sounded a lot more like an echo from the past.

And in turn it ignited echos in Daniel’s mind. They sounded like beating drums, overlapping each other, all in the same harsh tone...

_Daniel, for cryin’ out loud… Damnit, Daniel… What part of ‘don’t touch anything’ didn’t you understand?… Daniel, get the hell out of there…_

His heart started racing and sweat trickled down his face despite the cold.

_It’s never over with you, Daniel, it’s always the same damn thing… why don’t you hold your breath, Daniel, you haven’t done that in a while?!_

There was very little context to go with most of those echos. Some things he remembered, but vaguely, like a fading dream. Had he been that much of a pain in the neck? All the time? And there was more. Anger, frustration. He wanted to yell at Jack, to pound some sense into him, because Jack was always fighting him. They were always fighting each other and it was wrong, so wrong…

“Whoa… hey… hey, hey! Daniel, c’mon… it’s me, Jack.”

Jack was standing right in front of Daniel who ducked his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to see the disappointment. Or the anger. Or both. His breath was catching in his throat, his heart kept pounding in his chest.

A hand brushed the bangs out of Daniel’s face, titled his chin up. “Daniel? Hey, buddy?”

“I’m sorry.” He swallowed another lump. And forced out the words. “Just wanted to make Linus happy. Give him some excitement. It was like an adventure. We, I… I don’t know why I did it, I just… it felt…”

“Like the right thing to do at the time?”

Daniel nodded. He felt Jack’s hand gently squeezing his neck. And there was no anger or disappointment in the brown eyes locking with his own. Only warmth. And worry. Daniel blinked.

“You with me again, kiddo?”

Jack pulled him off the hay rack and when Daniel stood and the world didn’t spin or swallow him, he tried a tentative smile. “Jack?” _What just happened?_

“It’s called a post traumatic response.” Jack absently brushed hay and straw off Daniel’s parka. “You used to have those quite a lot in the beginning, remember? When you were through the worst, but things were still difficult sometimes?”

“The nightmares. And the… zoning out thing?” Yes, he remembered that. It felt like a lifetime ago, but in reality it hadn’t been that long. And this time… “It was different.”

“What?”

“Right now. It was different.”

Jack gave him another worried look. “Different… how?”

Daniel circled his shoulders and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his thick parka. “There were memories. But they were not about what replicator Sam did. Or about dying. Or Sha’re. Nothing like that.”

“Okay. What kind of memories then?” Jack glanced over at the cabin, but Linus was nowhere in sight. Daniel assumed his friend was still fast asleep.

“Not sure. You snapped at me…”

Horse trudged over to them and knocked her head against Jack’s upper arm to push him aside before she came over to Daniel and started nibbling at the collar of his parka.

Rubbing his arm, Jack glared at Horse. “Hey! You stay outta this, he’s in trouble.” But when he turned back to Daniel, he sighed. “Me snapping at you triggered… that?”

Daniel gently caressed Horse’s soft nose. It felt like velvet and he liked how she breathed warmly into his palm. “You were mad.”

“It’s not like I never snapped at you before.”

“Never like this. Not since… I came back. It just triggered some… stuff.”

“What kind of stuff? Can you tell me?”

“About how you were always mad at me for something. And how it made me feel. And that I was always mad at you, too.”

Jack opened his mouth, then shook his head and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Daniel, I…”

But he didn’t want to hear an apology. Because there was no need for that. “It’s okay, Jack.” He pulled his hand away when Horse started to examine his fingers with her tongue and teeth. She was usually gentle, but she also had big teeth.

“No, it’s not okay.” There was something weary in Jack’s voice, like an old pain resurfacing from somewhere deep inside him. “I didn’t mean to scare you, bud. And I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t scare me. But those memories, they...” Daniel wasn’t sure how to explain this to his friend.

“They hurt.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of fact. Daniel could see it in Jack’s eyes. They were soft and kind of edgy at the same time.

“Do they hurt you, too?” Daniel put his hand on Jack’s chest. “Here?”

“Yeah. And when you came back I tried very hard to forget all that. We got ourselves a do-over.”

“What happened? Weren’t we friends? I always thought we were…”

“...like two sides of a coin. But we were also both stubborn. You used to be really good with words and I used to be really good at being a sarcastic bastard. Things got out of sync at some point. But that was then. And now is now.” Jack reached for him. “C’mere.

Daniel let Jack pull him into the safe haven of the hug. He wasn’t a big hugger, probably never had been, but Jack’s hugs were special. They meant home and belonging. And sometimes Daniel needed those hugs more than words. And Jack was better with hugs than with words anyway.

“We good?” Jack asked when Daniel pulled back.

“All good.” He would never be not good with Jack. Not ever.

But he needed to get to the bottom of this.

“Can you… help me remember?” He had never asked Jack to fill in all the blanks. Sometimes Jack had told him things, but never too much into detail, never anything beyond scratching the surface. And Daniel hadn’t asked.

He was asking now, though.

“Are you sure that’s what you want? You might not like…” Jack pulled off his cap and scratched the back of his head. “You might not like some of what you uncover.”

“I want to understand.”

“Understand what? Who you were? Daniel, you were one of the most honest, bravest and compassionate men I ever met.”

“And yet, you were always mad at me.”

“Well, you were also the most stubborn and sometimes reckless guy I ever met. You were always read to sacrifice your life for others without giving a damn about your own safety. You turned me gray before my time.”

Daniel blushed. He had a hard time believing he’d been that kind of guy. He didn’t feel very brave most of the time these days. Well, he wasn’t a coward, but he never did anything brave. He was just a kid trying to figure out life. And school. And people.

But he had to grin when Jack waved at his own head and pulled a face.

“Mrs Donovan calls you _handsome._ ”

“Mrs… who?”

“The housemother.”

“Ahhh… and speaking of school… where were we on that subject?” Jack’s eyebrow did the upturn again and he looked stern, but Daniel knew the worst of that had passed.

“You were going to forgive me and make sure Linus has the best Christmas Day ever.”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I was going to chew you out good and haul your little elf friend’s butt back to school again after breakfast.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Were too.”

“Jack…”

“Daniel…”

“Don’t be an ass.” He ducked away and tried to escape the handful of snow being shoved down the back of his parka. “Jaaaack!” Daniel quickly hid behind Horse. “What did Mr. Anderson say?”

“You’ll be both on detention when you get back. And you’ll be cleaning toilets for the rest of your lives.” A snowball came flying his way and hit him square in the face. Horse startled and jumped forward, knocking Jack on his butt.

“All right, all right! That’s enough! I haven’t even have my first cup of coffee yet!” Jack waved Horse away, got to his feet and brushed snow off his pants.

“I’m not laughing,” Daniel said, grinning.

“Yeah, sure, I can see that. Now, can we have breakfast?”

“Jack! What did Mr. Anderson…”

But Jack was already on his way back to the cabin, only calling back over his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure Linus can’t wait to hear it either!”

  
  


Still December 25th

Pancake breakfast

  
  


Jack let the boys off the hook once they had all settled around the table for blueberry pancakes. He had wanted to keep them hanging until after breakfast, but while Daniel knew him well enough to suspect things would end rather well, poor Linus’ face was as white as the snow and his eyes were wide with worry.

“You can stay,” Jack said, pointing his fork at the littlest elf.

“I can… stay?” Linus squeaked.

“How long?” Daniel asked, his rolled-up pancake hovering somewhere midway between the plate and his mouth.

“Well, I’m not going to make the trip to Hermanstown twice, so… you’re stuck here until school starts again.”

Daniel’s pancake fell down on his plate with a thud. “All winter break! You get to stay the whole time!”

“And… and… I’m not going to be kicked outta school?”

“Nope. If that’s what you were going for… sorry, it didn’t work.” Jack grinned into his coffee.

“But how… and why not… and… thank you.” Linus sighed with relief. “But what about Daniel? He isn’t in trouble, right? He just wanted to… it’s not his fault… “

“And what about Lisa and Jim?” Daniel asked, suddenly subdued. “Did Anderson say anything about them?”

Jack decided he had his little bit of revenge. Plus, what had happened out by hay rack this morning was still playing in the back of his mind and he didn’t want another episode like that, especially not with Linus around. He was sure Daniel had come out of it okay, but it had rattled Jack, too.

He set his coffee down. “Despite what Daniel may think, I’m not quite as dense as I appear to be.” The thought of Daniel – this Daniel – sneaking another kid out of school, risking being at the center of a lot of unwanted attention and in a hell of a lot of trouble seemed ridiculous. And yet… Jack had quickly put two and two together. “I called school last night and left a message, to let them know you both arrived safe and sound. I can tell ya, your principal wasn’t a happy camper when he called me back this morning.”

Linus hung his head and looked accordingly remorseful, but Daniel smiled that little smile Jack hadn’t seen on him in… maybe not at all since the last time he’d come back from the death. It was one of those rare half smiles that said Daniel had made a difference for someone and that he had known Jack would come through for them in the end.

Well, this one had been easy. No one had died, no one had risked their lives, no hostages had been taken and everyone was happy.

“You broke a couple of school rules,” Jack went on. “You will be in detention for a while when you get back and you’ll just have to suck it up.”

“We will,” Daniel said.

“Yes, Sir,” Linus added.

Once Jack had assured Anderson that he was happy to keep Linus over the holidays, that he was grateful his kid had made friends over there, the headmaster had told him how Daniel had sacrificed his hot chocolate and his going-home-weekends to stand up to Linus’ bullies.

Jack couldn’t have been prouder. There had never been any doubt about Daniel still being the guy who stood up for others. But in this reincarnation, and being so totally out of his comfort zone, that little bit of acting out had to be a milestone.

And Anderson had turned out to be a pretty understanding guy all things considered. Jack hadn’t even had to play the - how the hell did a school LOSE a kid without even realizing until someone called in the middle of the night to say he had found him in Santa’s sleigh - card. He had been fully prepared to play that card, including the threat to inform the school board of the lack of security, in case Anderson would have stated any threats about kicking the boys out of school for their little… well, maybe not so little… stunt.

Anderson had brought up the issue all by himself and assured Jack he would not allow anything like that to ever happen again. The always ‘on guard’ Daniel protector in the back of Jack’s mind hoped for the headmaster’s sake that it never did.

“Will they call my parents?” Linus wondered and sighed. “Thank god, they’re in Europe. They won’t come all the way back just to take me away from here.”

“Your parents know. I understand they weren’t happy, but they’re okay with you staying here.” Apparently there had been e-mails going back and forth this morning before Anderson had called Jack back. To confirm the kid could really stay.

That pretty much broke the odd mood that had hung around their little cabin all morning. Linus jumped up and did a little elf dance around the room, pumping his fists and letting out a howl of victory and pure childish joy.

Daniel’s little smile blossomed into a wide grin that made his blue eyes sparkle and Jack kicked back with his coffee and enjoyed his pancakes while the kids went through their stockings and stuffed themselves with too much sugar and chocolate.

That was okay, they were going to use up all that extra energy later. It was Christmas. It was winter. Snowball fights and sleigh rides beckoned as much as building snow men and skating out on the pond.

  
  


  
  


  
  


Still December 25th

Mother Nature is visiting

Horse and Elessar wandered along the pond. Her young one was always curious and tried to get past her and onto the ice, but she steered him away from there. It would probably carry him, but it was dark and Jack had put holes into the ice for the fish.

Once they had ended their stroll and reached the cabin again, Elessar stopped and bucked, then took a leap forwards and ran away, down to the dock.

Horse stood still for a moment longer, gazing out at the lake and the white light whirling on the frozen surface. Gracefully.

 _Mother Nature is visiting_ , the treetops whispered, and everything seemed to stand still, even time.

Horse sniffed the cold air, opening her nostrils wide. She had never before smelled this scent of age and wisdom.

_Mother Nature is visiting._

She heard the leaves whispering again. She had heard of Mother Nature before. She was kind to all creatures big and small, she brought the sun, the rain, the snow, the new saplings and the blossoms of the trees and flowers. She made it day and night again, turned the seasons, and once she had created life. All life.

And now she was visiting them.

There were two of them, even.

Horse didn’t know if that was possible, but maybe Mother Nature had a young one to teach. Why they had come out here, to their tiny corner of the woods, Horse did not know.

She watched them soar across the pond towards the dock.

And there was Jack, the elder two-leg. He was holding one of those bottles with the sharp disgusting liquid he would drink from time to time. The one that made his breath smell bad and his eyes becoming bloodshot and watery. When Horse had first met Jack he had always been under the spell of that liquid. Then he had stopped. And now he only got that bottle out from time to time.

Horse walked over to the man on the dock. The young ones were nowhere to be seen, they had probably gone to sleep. Elessar was standing by his right side.

“Do you see that?” Jack said without turning around. He had heard her coming. He often did. “That, my dear, means trouble.” He took a swig from his bottle.

Horse pushed her head against his upper arm. They were coming closer. He had to stop drinking from his bottle.

Didn’t the two-leg know one had to kneel before Mother Nature? Even Elessar, so small and so new on this world, had sensed her presence and knew how to greet her.

The foal knelt.

“Yep. Big big trouble. But they may as well forget it right away. They’re not taking Daniel away from here. Never. Again.”

Horse shook her mane. She didn’t know what her two leg was talking about. The Mother of Nature wasn’t here to take Daniel away, was she? Where would she take him? Daniel belonged with them. They were his herd.

When the lights were close and two entities began to form in front of the dock, Horse bowed her head and went down on her knees in humility…

  
  


….“Hey, what are you doing? Up.” Jack put a hand on her neck. Then he looked to his other side and realized that the princeling was kneeling, too. What the …?

He couldn’t be that drunk yet, but he was pretty sure Horse and her kid were actually kneeling in front of those two Ancient bitches as if they were their - false – godesses. He looked at his bottle. He had just taken his first swig when he had seen the light.

Lights.

He’d seen lights. As in plural. Two of them.

He tugged at Horse’s mane and gave Elessar’s head a gentle pat. “C’mon, there’s no need to kneel…”

“O’Neyl.” Sha’re stepped forward, her beautiful features even more breathtaking in the lights surrounding and flowing through her. “It is I.”

“Ye-ah, I can see that.” Jack’s eyes flicked over to Oma, who hung back and just watched silently.

He felt a bit weird standing here between his two kneeling horses. He looked at Horse. “Get up already!”

She didn’t move. Neither did Elessar.

“They are creation’s most beautiful creatures.” Sha’re raised her small hand and blew a kiss at Elessar. “They feel our presence, they understand without words and they are not afraid.” Another air kiss was sent to Horse.

“They are not made to kneel before you,” Jack ground out.

“They do not need to. They do so because they want to,” Oma said from the sidelines.

Jack pointed a finger at her. “You! You keep your hands off Daniel. He’s not dying. He’s fine. And he’ll stay right here where he is.”

He could have sworn there was something akin to disappointment crossing her half translucent face.

“They know Oma is one of the Creators,” Sha’re said in an almost apologetic voice. Then she put her shiny hand underneath Elessar’s small chin and tilted his head up. “But you are right, O’Neyl, they are not supposed to kneel.” The foal came to his feet and it took Jack a lot of willpower not to jump in front of him to keep Sha’re from caressing him.

Beside him, Horse rose. And rammed her head against his upper arm again. He really had to stop her from doing that. Whiskey spilled from the bottle when she smacked him again.

“Fine.” He put the bottle down. “Now, stop it.”

Oma said, “We came for the child.”

“No.” Jack put all his anger, all his damn military bravado, all of that no-nonsense part of his personality into that one word. And probably all his fears and worries as well. “You leave. Right now.”

This time Jack got a hold of Horse’s head before she could smack him again. “Behave!”

Horse bared her teeth at him and her ears went back. Oh, this was priceless. Jack rubbed his upper arm. He had a feeling _he w_ as the one being told to behave by Mama Horse.

Sha’re moved over and started to caress her, too. Calming her. Just like Daniel would. Finally Horse stopped using him as a punching bag and stood still.

“We do not want to take Danyel from you,” Sha’re smiled. “Oma was not precise.”

“Oh, I bet she was.”

“We came to tell you to show Danyel who he was.” Sha’re hugged Elessar’s head again and blew another kiss at him. The foal closed his eyes and put his nose on her shoulder. “It is time. He must remember.”

“Why?” But Jack thought back to what had happened this morning and realized she was probably right. He didn’t want the kid to find his memories the way he had experienced it today.

“Only you can,” Sha’re said. “The replicator has done so much damage to my beloved. But he is healing. And you hold the key for him to remember.”

“Why? Why can’t he just grow up and live in peace.” Jack thought he might know the answer, but he didn’t have to like it.

“Because this is not who he is,” Oma said.

“It is now.” Jack wasn’t going to give them an inch here.

“Part of him is missing. He needs that part of him back.” Sha’re stopped playing with the foal and was now standing right in front of Jack. For a moment he was afraid she would start hugging him, too. But she just looked at him with doleful bright eyes. “He has suffered so greatly. But if he loses who he used to be, so much will be lost.”

“Teach him,” Oma said. “And keep him safe.”

“I can do that.” As long as Daniel stayed away from the gate, Jack was pretty sure he could manage.

“He must return to the Cha’appai one day,” Sha’re whispered.

“Why? What are you not telling me? If you’re plotting some new little game to drag him out there, put him through the wringer and spit him out again, forget it. I won’t let you do that to him again.”

But Sha’re shook her head. “You don’t understand. You must not be angry, O’Neyl. He deserves to be out there, to finally do what he loves the most.”

“Daniel Jackson shall be rewarded for all he has done,” Oma said “This is all we can tell you. But first he must fully grow back into himself.”

Jack wasn’t sure he wanted Daniel to be ‘rewarded’ by the Ancients. All he wanted was for them to leave him alone.

Oma bowed her head. “We must leave.” In a blink of an eye she turned into a shooting star – only upwards instead of downwards – and was gone.

Sha’re, however, took Jack’s hands. “O’Neyl, hear me. I have so much love for Danyel, even now. I would never let any harm come to him.” A single tear ran down her cheek. It looked like one of the icicles Daniel liked looking at. “Your love for him is different. But just as strong.”

The tear trickled down and Jack felt it briefly touch his hand. A tingling sensation that gave him goosebumps. He caught her eyes with his. “When he’s out there again… some day… Promise me….”

“I will watch over him. Always.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

She stepped away from him, twisted into energy, whirled away across Jack’s pond. And when she rose into the sky, left a sparkling cluster of stars like early new year’s fireworks, Jack knew it was time to support this Daniel on his journey to meet the other Daniel and become familiar with him again.

  
  



	5. The Other Me

The Other Me

December 31st

New Year’s Eve

Daniel took a step back and tilted his head. “Looks good from here.”

Jack pulled the hammer from his belt and drove the last nail into the wall. Then he joined Daniel on the other side of the cabin’s main room. “Looks good,” he confirmed.

“And it’s so much better than the old battered picture from before,” Daniel said with a grin.

“Hey, my grandpa hung it there.”

“That’s why it looked so old and battered.” It had been a poster of the pond and the dock. A very old black and white photo, bleached out by the sun. They had taken it out of its frame and put the new picture in.

“You used to love old and battered. The older the better, no matter how battered.” Jack ruffled Daniel’s hair.

“Artifacts,” Daniel said, “are a different kind of old and battered. Or so I’ve heard.”

Jack snorted.

Then they stood and looked at Linus’ acrylic painting. He had caught Horse and Elessar down by the pond on a beautiful morning the day after Christmas. It was a perfect play of colors, light and effects. Daniel saw the sun glistening on the ice, the delicate brush strokes for the tree limbs in the background, the warm gold, brown and whites of his horses, their dark eyes so vibrant even on the painting. Linus had even put Cat on Horse’s croup as she sat there, cleaning herself.

“Your little elf has a true gift there,” Jack said.

“He comes from a family of artists so none of them thinks he’s special. But I agree. Everything he paints comes to life.” Daniel had seen many of Linus’ artworks and each of them had a special kind of magic.

And Linus painted with a passion. Right now he was out somewhere around the cabin, probably sketching the pond, the woods or the horses again. His acrylic paints, the brushes and one of the good quality sketchbooks had been the only things he had asked Daniel to put in his bag for him before they had left school.

He had even done a sketch of Jack and Jack had been so impressed with the picture Linus had given him and Daniel as a late Christmas present that he had managed to sit still the whole time Linus had needed to draw him. Well, with breaks in between of course, but he had been real good about it and kept the eye rolling and muttering to a minimum.

“You used to draw, too,” Jack said out of the blue.

“When I didn’t talk.” He remembered how he had started drawing pictures for Jack to communicate at some point.

“Yes, but before. Before you…”

“Before I died.”

Jack winced. “Yeah, that. You used to draw. And not bad. “

“I did. I… did?” Daniel frowned. He couldn’t remember that.

“In your journals. Stuff you saw off world. Buildings. Sometimes artifacts. Even people. Things you couldn’t take home.”

“I remember writing journals… maybe.” He remembered a lot and yet, nothing in great detail. He knew all about the Stargate. He recalled names of friends and colleagues, could put faces to names more often than not and he knew all about the Goa’uld and the Ancients and Replicators. But it was like remembering a book or a movie.

None of it felt like they had been his own experiences.

The only things he remembered were the false images replicator Sam had put into his mind. And how she had tried to trick him into giving her what she wanted. And how it had felt when she had run that knife through him. And he remembered how lost he’d been, how scared and how alone, when he had been in that Limbo before Sha’re had come.

But all those years on SG-1 were blurred and difficult to grasp. Little tidbits of memories and fragments of conversations, nothing else. Until that triggered bunch of scathing comments he had experienced on Christmas day…

And that hadn’t been a good memory.

Yet, he hoped that someday Jack would tell him.

“There’s something I want you to have.”

Daniel saw a scowl on his older friend’s face, as if he wasn’t sure he really wanted Daniel to have whatever he was going to offer. But before Daniel could respond, Jack walked away, through the open door into the small hallway leading to the bedrooms.

Curiosity and a slight burst of anxiety wrangled for the upper hand in Daniel’s mind when he followed and found Jack standing in front of an old shelf in his bedroom. “Help me move that, will ya?”

“Okay.”

Together they pushed and pulled at the shelf until it moved aside and revealed the door of an built-in wall closet. Jack was still scowling somewhat as he crouched and fumbled for something underneath the shelf they had just moved. When he straightened up again he was holding a small key.

Daniel stared at him with wide eyes. “Jack?”

“Gimme a minute.” Jack pushed the key into its lock and turned it once, twice. Klick, klick, and the door swung open.

Inside the closet sat a safe. A huge safe. With a digital combination lock. Jack typed in a number 071020520865

“That’s a combination of our birthdays.”

“I know.” Jack pulled the heavy door open.

But just when Daniel moved forward to take a look inside, Jack put a firm hand on his arm and held him back. “I want you to understand a couple of things here, Daniel. You can’t tell Linus about this. Not. Ever.”

Daniel swallowed hard. “Classified?”

“Classified. And…” Jack looked like he wanted to turn back time to five minutes ago so that they wouldn’t have this conversation. “I’m, uh, not supposed to have these here. So, you can’t tell Lam. Or Carter. Or T… well, okay, you could tell T. He’d understand.”

“Jack, what…”

“Were you listening?”

“Yes. I won’t tell anyone. Promise.”

“We can talk about this all you like, whenever you like. I promise, I’ll listen. And answer any questions you might have, okay?”

“Only you, no one else.” Daniel nodded.

“Only me.” Jack opened the door, then he stepped back. “Merry belated Christmas, Doctor Jackson. I would’ve wrapped ‘em, but it was a bit of short notice, so...yeah.”

Daniel looked.

And looked.

He stepped forward and raised his hand. “These are my…” He traced the old and battered spines. Leather bound, some of them brittle. He counted them in his mind. A dozen. Twenty. Twenty-five.

Jack leaned against the open closet door and looked at him, something between spooked and relieved. At least that’s how Daniel read that look. “There are probably a couple missing. I had to be fast when they came to pack up your office and put most of it into the deep bowels of what’s the SGC’s archive.”

“You took them. But… why?” Daniel pulled one of the journals out. 1994, it read in gold letters on the cover.

Jack shrugged. “When you ascended before, you came back. I kind of waited for that to happen again for a while. When it didn’t happen, I finally decided it was time to retire again. And I called them to pack up your stuff. But I couldn’t…” Jack waved at the journals. “Just in case you changed your mind and come back after all. And you did. Took you a while, though.”

Daniel opened his journal, his heart taking a leap. There was his own handwriting. He recognized it. He was still writing that way, even now.

“ _Abydos is beautiful just after rainy season. There are flowers. And grass. For such a short period of time we have enough water. And then it will all die and those small patches of green will be gone. But right now we have flowers and the air smells like rain. Sha’re is going to bind wreaths from the flowers. She will wear one of them in her hair tonight….”_ He looked up because his eyes were starting to blur.

“The rain only stayed for such a short time. They celebrated it. There was a feast. I remember… lots of moonshine.” He laughed. And he cried. “When you… when you came back to get me, rainy season was just over and there was a sand storm. A huge one. Sha’re and I were in the room with the Cartouche...”

“Welcome to your life,” Jack said.

“Jack?” Daniel closed his journal. His. These were his journals. Not the scribblings of another guy. This was him. And maybe he would become him again, some day. Or at least part of him would.

“Daniel?”

“Did you… Have you…”

“Read them?” Jack scrubbed a hand over his face. “When I came out here I was looking for some… answers. And I missed you. So… I looked through some of them, yes. I read paragraphs, looked at your drawings, that kind of stuff.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t be. Isn’t part of the purpose of writing journals that someone else can read them when you’re gone? To remember you?”

Daniel swallowed his tears and decided it was a time for smiles. He handed the journal back to Jack. “I want us to read them. Together. Can we do that? Like we used to read all those books after I came back?”

“Yeah. I’d like that. A lot.” Jack put the journal into the safe and closed it.

When they had moved the shelf back in front of the wall closet, Daniel whispered – just in case Linus had come back inside and was in the living room. “Are you nuts? What if they had caught you? You’re keeping classified material in your damn bedroom in the middle of nowhere.”

Jack gave him a blank stare. “I have no idea what’cha talking about. Do you see anything classified around here?”

“Jack!”

Jack grinned and gave him a little push towards the door. “You of all people should know that sometimes it’s easier to ask for forgiveness – in case you get caught – than to ask for permission.”

Daniel snorted. “Asking for forgiveness at a court martial?”

“I am friends with the president, Daniel. If it comes down to it all I did was taking the personal journals of a very good friend with me. For sentimental reasons.”

“Sentimental,” Daniel snickered. “Jack O’Neill, the most sentimental guy you’ve met.”

“Let’s find our elfling and get him inside before he turns into a popsicle,” Jack grumbled. “We should…” A suspicious ‘tap tap tap’’ from the living room followed by some rustling and bumping had him cursing. “That little shit got into the house again…”

Daniel opened the door and slapped a hand over his mouth at the sight of Elessar standing in the middle of the room with his nose buried in the half-eaten Cheesecake they had left out there for a second round later. When he raised his head to look at them, a cheesecake and whipped cream mustache around his mouth and nose, Daniel couldn’t stop himself from snorting.

He was worried, too, though. “Can’t he get sick from cheesecake?”

Jack flipped out his phone and took a picture. “He’s eaten lasagna straight out of the pan, half a couch pillow, at least one grilled cheese sandwich and half of a crossword magazine. That horse never gets sick.” Jack waved at him. “Go, get him outta here. You’re home now, he’s all yours to deal with. I wish I knew who taught him how to move the door handle.”

Daniel refrained from answering that. But he quickly grabbed a tea towel to clean the little cake caper up and then dragged him outside again, whispering at him to be good now.

Elessar didn’t get sick. They kept an eye on him for the rest of the day, but he was his usual happy playful self and ate his dinner with great appetite.

When it was getting dark, Jack told Daniel and Linus to get Horse ready and then they took a ride over to Hazel Run to look at the Christmas lights. Daniel had practiced his driving skills over the last couple of days and was now proudly holding the reins.

Today they had all squeezed together on the front seat, wrapped in their blankets, with Linus in the middle. It was a still night, there was no wind and no snowfall. Horse’s bells were probably heard far and wide, but there weren’t any people outside tonight. Hazel Run was quiet and the streets empty.

Daniel liked it best that way.

They looked at all the lights in the front yards, at the homes, the garages. There were reindeer and a sleigh in one garden and Jack said he’d heard of a story where some people had made it a Christmas tradition to move the reindeer and sleigh decorations around in other people’s yards.

“Maybe we can do that!” Daniel suggested. “Look, there’s a Santa Clause hanging over the chimney. We could move him, too, and put him on the garage roof with a blanket and a pillow, like he’s taking a nap.”

“And we could tie him up with light strings,” Linus added, immediately taken by the idea.

“You’re feeling adventurous, eh?” Jack shook his head. “Maybe next year. I think you guys had enough adventure for one Christmas. We don’t want your parents to regret that they allowed you to stay, Linus.”

“That’s right. Because we want you to come back!” Daniel steered Horse around a corner where a huge white inflatable snowman was waving at them from a front yard.

“Loookit,” Linus laughed. “Who would put that thing into their yard with so much snow around to build their own!”

They had built snowmen around the cabin. Daniel thought there were at least four. Plus one snow horse. And one snow cat.

He remembered – now – that he used to hate the cold. He had been a desert rat through and through. Abydos had reminded him of Egypt. He had felt right at home there. And even Colorado had often felt too chilly.

But now… out here, he had grown to love the winter. Maybe not as much as Jack did. Jack was a winter guy through and through. He went out in a t-shirt when Daniel was already bundling up. But winter was just special out here.

He welcomed the chill on his face now and while his teeth would soon start to chatter and he’d feel as if he was frozen solid by the time they arrived home, he would enjoy the feeling of thawing out by the fire later, with hot chocolate in his favorite mug and wrapped into a blanket.

“Giddy-up, giddy-up, Horse,” he called out.

“Yes, giddy-up! Go go go go!” Linus joined in.

Daniel thought that maybe this had been his favorite Christmas. He had thought the same last year, of course. And the year before that. But this year so much had happened. And he hoped he would never forget any of it as long as he lived.

Tomorrow was the first day of a new year. And as he would continue to go to school and try to find his way in the outside world, he would also be looking into his past for all the missing pieces.

It was like taking two journeys at the same time. He wondered if finding his past was going to be painful. And if taking on his future was going to be difficult.

But there was one thing Daniel knew for sure. He wouldn’t be alone on either journey. He had friends. And he had Jack. And they would have his back just like he would have theirs.

 _Maybe I should start writing a journal again_ , he thought.

Fin

  
  


Fin

**Author's Note:**

> I hope ya'll liked it. Just for the record; I'm fully aware horsres shall not eat cheesecake or couch pillows or anything that's not on their usual menu because they do get sick quite easily when fed bad things - but for the sake of this story Elessar has an iron stomach and can take it :) Just don't try this with your own (real) horsies (or dogs or cats), please! :)
> 
> I hope everyone had peaceful and good holidays even though it might have been different this year. 
> 
> Much Love to all my readers,  
> Anne


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